Caged | The Hunger Games AU ✓

iii. drunkard

three - drunkard

- - - ➳

i sit on the couch lining the caboose of the train, my chin resting in my hands as i stare out the window. the colors of the passing landscape smear together until i can hardly distinguish the ground from the sky. everything is going by so quickly i can barely see so there isn't really a point, but it gives me something to do and keeps my mind off the horror that has become my life. 

i hear the door slide open, but don't turn around. "i don't feel like talking right now," i say quite coldly.

"too bad. i'm staying." it is not matthias talking like i had previously thought. it's katniss, and she sits next to me on the sofa, leaving about a foot of space between us.

"sorry," i apologize, turning toward her. "i thought you were matthias."

"that's understandable." at first i do not understand her words, but then she continues and i realize what she means. "at first i wanted nothing to do with peeta. now...now i couldn't forgive myself if he died."

katniss looks down at her hands and i notice she is twiddling her thumbs. it's a nervous habit. my eyebrows quirk– i do the exact same thing.

"i thought he was just trying to be nice to me so he could befriend me then betray me in the games," katniss continues. "i was wrong."

"so are you saying i should trust matthias?" i ask, not really comprehending what's she's trying to tell me.

"he seems trustworthy enough," she tells me honestly. "nice, strong, true to his word. do you know him?"

i hesitate, then nod. "i met him this morning in the woods. he slew a rabbit then gave it to me."

"if he acts like that outside the games then i'd say he's good for an ally." katniss crosses her legs. "just watch out; the games could turn him into a monster."

i can't help but smile despite her warning. katniss and peeta are going to be great mentors. their youth makes them relatable, and the fact that they've practically just stepped off of the victory tour means everything is fresh in their minds. 

"any siblings?" she asks as a form of small talk.

i find myself nodding instantaneously. "an older brother, roy. he's your age."

"and how old are you?"

"fifteen."

katniss's breath hitches. "fifteen," she mutters under her breath, seemingly horrified, but i'm not sure why. she is quick to change the subject so i don't dwell on it any longer. "friends?"

i shake my head, wondering if i should be embarrassed by this fact, but i can't find the strength to care about that fact right now. "i'm not the friendliest person," i admit with a frown. "it's just me and roy. that's all i've ever needed."

"i have one friend." katniss picks at her nails. "his name is gale hawthorne. he has a girlfriend now." i think i hear a sense of sadness in her voice but i can't be sure. "maureen. she's nice. i remember her from around but i never got to know her. i-i'm happy for him. she has gale and i have peeta. it all works out."

i can tell this topic upsets her, and that she probably still feels something for gale. peeta definitely loves katniss with his whole heart, mind, and soul, but does katniss truly feel the same? was their engagement just a setup for the capitol?

"curfew is soon," katniss reminds me, standing up and cutting our conversation short, "you might want to head to your room." she says nothing else before leaving, the door sliding shut behind her. i am alone again.