Caged | The Hunger Games AU ✓

xxix. flashbacks

twenty-nine - flashbacks

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as i wait beneath the stage for the ceremony to begin, i find myself more nervous than i had been before the games. my palms grow damp with sweat and i have to resist the urge to wipe them on my dress. more than once, i get a compliment from some crew member about my hair, lipstick, or dress. i feel sick to my stomach at their words.

the roar of the crowd is deafening even from where i am. though it hasn't even started yet, everyone is riled up and shouting for caesar to "come on out already." i have to squint to see with how dark and gloomy it is.

the only thing that's keeping me from going absolutely insane is the makeshift wall that's just feet away from me. matthias is standing behind it. he's here. i still can't wrap my head around the fact that we both made it out, and i'm going to see him again in just minutes.

i imagine myself as katniss everdeen, and picture peeta being matthias. how did they feel at this moment in their lives? to be the first-ever dual victors? what did haymitch warn them about? i know that the capitol must still not fully forgive them for the embarrassment that was inflicted on them, and that president snow won't be so jolly about us now, either. we made the capital the laughing stock of the year a second time. how will that end up for us?

i shake my head to rid it of these nauseating thoughts. i am not katniss. matthias is not peeta mellark. we are completely different people, and we each got out of the arena for different reasons. even so, there is no doubt that we will be compared, especially with them accompanying us on stage. i just hope i won't be sick on live television.

the anthem cleaves through my thoughts and i jump with fright. the roaring of the crowd intensifies while caesar greets them, laughing his usual cackle and warming them up for us. the prep teams are introduced first. my blood feels cold in my veins. then effie is presented, and i can almost picture the gleaming smile on her thin lips as she blushes from the applause. portia and cinna receive cheers so loud i almost have to cover my ears. then there's haymitch, and i can hear stomping as well. katniss and peeta bring about a roar that definitely makes me block my ears. as i'm doing so, it takes me a moment to realize my metal plate is being lifted up.

a vivid flashback invades my mind and replaces me back in that suffocating tube, and for a second i think i'm going to emerge back in the arena with the rush of waves surrounding me. blinding lights block that out. i blink, and realize that it's not the sun, but heavy stage lights that are so intense that i can feel their heat. but soon that goes to the back of my mind. i don't hear the screams of the crowd that shake the stage beneath my feet. all i care about in that exact moment is matthias.

the hospital cleaned him up nicely. his face is devoid of those dozens of cuts that had decorated it, skin smooth and silky against the lights. the chocolate-colored hair on his head is perfectly fluffed upright, which is a new look that suits him well. he wears a dark burgundy button-down and black pants with the infamous bowtie around his collar. his most prominent feature are his eyes. there's something different about them, but i don't have time to think about what it could possibly be because he's engulfing me in a hug before i can process it.

it feels like someone burst the bubble between dream and reality as his arms tighten around me. the stars must have spent the entirety of the games arranging themselves in the sky until they were perfectly aligned for this very moment. it was like every twist of fate had somehow been a right turn, even with all of the heartbreak our eyes have seen, and i have always been meant to end up in his arms.

it takes me a second to realize what's happening. after a moment of shock that he's actually here with me, i return the embrace with just as much enthusiasm as he has. my arms lock around him as i hold him tightly, my heart swelling with so much feeling that i think it may burst. my cheek presses against his shoulder as we stand and soak in each other's existence.