The Roommate Therapy ✓

06 • Scars That Run Deep

I felt sorry for him, really. He still didn't know that he wasn't the prima donna of the soap opera that was my life. He was more of a side chic.

Wednesday rolled in quickly. The short lived respite that the North bound Westerlies had brought with the Sunday showers was long gone now. The intolerable heat was back and the humidity was making my hair frizzy.

I was sitting comfortably in living room corner that I'd claimed for myself, my back propped against some pillows as I read 'Digital Fortress' by Dan Brown. I slurped cold minty lemonade as I dived headfirst into the enthralling land of unbreakable coding paradigms, love and betrayal at its best.

I didn't notice as the door creaked open slowly and Vinay walked in with light footsteps. So when he tossed his bunch of keys into the glass key bowl, on the shelf next to the fridge, the clinking sound startled me. The glass of lemonade topped over in my hand as I held it, emptying its leftover contents onto my t-shirt.

"Shit!" I cursed, as the cold liquid seeped in through the cloth and into the place between the mounds of my breasts.

Vinay snickered. "Clumsy aren't we?" he said, as I tried helplessly to prevent my t-shirt from sticking inappropriately to my chest.

"Oh just give me a break." I muttered under my breath, as I bent down to clean the mess mid made with one of the pillow covers. I was relieved to see that my book had somehow fallen away from the mess and was unscathed.

Shooting Vinay one last glare, I went into my room and shut the door behind me.

When I came out to grab an apple from the fridge, I was surprised to see Vinay curled up on the couch in the living room, hunched over a notebook. He was scribbling furiously in a worn out, black leather bound book. His forehead was knit into a grave expression as he poured out his thoughts onto paper.

Getting a closer look at his face, I saw the dark circles lining his eyes. He looked exhausted. But the macho man that he was, he seemed to be dragging himself on, not wanting to accept the fact that he was.

"Is that your diary?" I asked from the kitchen, without thinking.

The moment Vinay heard my voice he sat up straight, all signs of concentration disappearing from his face as he shut the book abruptly.

"Wouldn't you love to find out?" he sneered.

He rose in a quick motion, and headed into his room with long strides, not noticing a small sheet of paper that slipped out of his journal.

The moment Vinay closed the door behind him, I ran excitedly to fetch the sheet and read what he'd written on it.

It turned out to be a poem of sorts.

'That's odd.' I frowned as I started reading.

Eyes shut close, but I still see flashes of stars

My legs chained fast, I wonder if they'll take me far

Eardrums burst, until all I heard was the silence in the dark.

You scared me into this wretched hole

Said it was nothing but a gentle breeze,

When this storm's left my ship stranded far away from the shore.

I did it all wordlessly, but look it where it's brought me now

I'm lost, I'm broken, struggling to hold onto the last straw.

Love is a feeling of bliss, a sense of safety they say

But people are naïve, it's the empty idea they crave

Because love is nothing but endless pain.

But here I stand putting up a happy charade

Hiding all the pain,

Masking all my scars.

But the world runs along it's way unaware

As I continue digging myself a deep grave.

My breath hitched as I read the poem, my heart pounding violently against my ribs.

The poem was actually really beautiful.

The words were full of raw emotion and I couldn't help it when a ball started forming inside my throat.

Did Vinay write this? Were these the feelings that he kept locked up behind that insufferable smirk of his?

I stared at the words intently, drinking them in.

Suddenly, the page was ripped out of my hands and I looked up to meet the gaze of a fuming Vinay.

"Where the fuck did you find that Akira?" he scowled, stuffing the page into his pocket.

"I uh..." I started hesitantly.

"Actually, don't answer that. I don't think I want to know." He said rudely.

Despite his rudeness, I offered him a small smile.

"You know Vinay, I really don't care what you think of me," I replied, "That poem there, it's beautiful."

He shrugged indifferently.

I continued, "If you ever feel like you want to talk to someone about whatever it is you're going through, you know where to find me."

Vinay laughed humorlessly in response. "Keep your pity, Akira. I don't want it. I'm dealing with my problems just fine. And just because you read some bullshit I wrote does not mean you understand me any better than you did before. So by all means, just fuck off."

I searched his face for emotion but I found nothing but hatred in his eyes. Hatred towards himself that was being reflected onto me.

Vinay left me standing speechless there as he turned to go back into his sanctuary, and slammed the door onto my face yet again. This was the second time in four days.

I exhaled defeatedly.

Vinay was many things. He hid his scars behind the sturdy walls he'd built up around his mind. But he wasn't the egotistical asshole I'd presumed him to be, that was for sure.

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