"Stupid dog who's a boy pretending to be dog," I grumbled, walking up the stairs, closely followed by Bruno. My plan of action was this: grab my jacket, put Bruno on the lead and then ignore him for the whole of this walk. Why did I have the funniest feeling that it wasn't going to turn out like that?
Just as I got to my door, I whipped around, glaring at dog-boy.
"I'm going to get changed," I snapped. "And you're going to wait here." I swear, if dogs could raise their eyebrows, Bruno's would have gone up to his ears. He cocked his head and gave me a doggy smile. I shook my head and then gasped in pain as he stepped on my bare foot with his sharp claws, pushing his way into my bedroom.
"Get out!" I shouted, rounding on the mutt. He hopped onto my bed and looked at me with his big yellow eyes, batting his eyelashes. This probably would have made me soften a bit if I didn't know that Bruno was actually a person, but I refused to see him as a dog anymore. All my trust had disappeared. It was like I had been lied to my entire life. No wonder the bloody thing hadn't died!
"Bruno," I sighed, sliding down the wall. "Get out of my room." I buried my face in my hands and pretending to sob. Bruno slid from the bed and walked over to where I was sitting, whimpering quietly. As soon as he was near enough, I grabbed his collar and pushed him through the door, slamming it in his face. Stupid dog-boy. I laughed to myself as I picked up my coat. My hand lingered on the door handle as I toyed with idea of making him wait. Then I rolled my eyes; the sooner I got this over and done with, the sooner I could get away from dog-boy.
So I opened the door and tripped over Bruno, who was strategically lying right in front my door frame. I swore as my nose hit the carpet. I groaned ant looked up at him, watching as he wagged his tail. Seriously? This was what it was going to be like? Well, two could definitely play at that game. I pretended to whimper on the ground, which wasn't as hard as I had thought because my nose was actually pretty painful. But, apparently, Bruno had learnt from his previous mistake because he just stayed where he was. Muttering under my breath, I got to my feet and began to walk down the stairs, trying not to fall over Bruno as he dodged between my legs. I mean, who does that? Seriously. You're trying to walk down the stairs and you've got this massive great beast jumping everywhere. He of all people should have known that my co-ordination and balance left a lot to be desired.
"Piss off," I groaned as he jumped up, making me slide down the rest of the stairs. He just wagged his tail, his tongue hanging out. I took his lead and collar from the front door and gave him a smile.
"Bet you weren't expecting this, were you?" I muttered, grabbing his fur. He struggled but I managed to fix the clasp and I stood back to admire my handiwork. Bruno looked like he was going to bite me, so I just opened the front door and hauled him outside, shuddering in the cold. Bruno strained, pulling me down the street. After years of just letting him off of the lead on walks, I had forgotten just how strong he was. I was literally planting all of my weight into my heels just to stay upright.
He was trying to take me towards the woods and, despite how much I tried to take him in the other direction, I had to accept the fact that it just wasn't going to happen. But that didn't mean that I made it easy for him; I groaned and huffed, yanking him back when I thought that my arm was going to be wrenched from its socket.
"You're hurting me, dog-boy," I grumbled as we reached the trees. I was in two minds; should I let him off the lead for the sake of my poor aching limbs, or should I keep it on him out of spite? The latter sounded particularly tempting. So I just kept it on, letting him fall behind me as I walked deeper and deeper into the trees. It was only when I realised that I was trying to drag him, that I turned around.
"You know," Bruno said, putting his hands out, "this could be seen as kinky."
I put my hand to my face and tried to look anywhere but his naked body. He walked towards me, unclipping the collar from his neck. I let the lead fall from my hand and allowed myself to look him in the eye.
"You've got to stop doing that," I muttered. He cocked his head to the side.
"Planning on getting me snipped, are you?" he asked, wrinkling his eyebrows. He took another step closer and this time, I didn't have anything to defend myself. "That's not very nice, is it?" I sucked in my cheeks and smirked at him, raising my eyebrows.
"No, it's not," I whispered. "But neither is finding out that your pet dog can turn into a man. You...You slept in my bed! What were you doing; jacking yourself off while I was asleep?" Bruno snorted and shook his head. He was far too close for my liking so I backed up against a thick tree. He followed, leaning over me.
"And why would I be jacking off over you?" he asked, his tone light. His lips were mere centimetres from mine and I could feel my heart thudding in my chest. I swallowed and then ducked out from underneath him, my breathing heavy.
"What do you want?" I asked breathlessly. Bruno turned to look at me, his face amused. What part of this was funny? I felt like a fish out of water. I felt like the ground was crumbling from underneath me and I had no idea where I was going to fall.
"Nothing," he said. I snorted. Where had I heard that one before?
"So, I'm expected to believe that you're putting me through this as an act of kindness?" I demanded, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, there is one thing," he said, walking towards me again. This time, I didn't move; I stood my ground. "I can trust that you're not going to go shooting your mouth off, right?" I rolled my eyes. Yeah, because that would go down extremely well. Everyone already thought that I was more than a bit insane. I didn't need to give them the confirmation that I had gone well and truly mad.
"Yeah," I sighed, "I won't tell."
"Good."
"So you've really been a person the whole time we've had you?" I asked. Bruno nodded.
"Yep."
I tried not to think of everything that I told him when I was sad. This guy knew absolutely everything about me. He knew the things that made me cry, he knew the things that made me happy and, worryingly, he knew exactly what I got up to when I wasn't at home. I bit my lip nervously, looking up at Bruno. From where I was standing, his eyes were still the yellow that they had been when he was a dog. He dipped his head, so that his skin brushed against my face. His lips moved closer to mine and-
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa," I said, scooting away from him. "I know exactly where that tongue of yours has been!"
"Excuse me?"
"Last week. On my bed. Licking your balls. Not to mention what the hell you get up to with that poodle." Bruno smiled to himself.
"You know, I have cleaned my mouth since then," he reasoned.
"With what?" I snapped.
"A toothbrush." He winked. I really hoped that that didn't mean that he had been using my toothbrush because I wasn't sure if my already frazzled nerves could take it. Instead of dwelling on the fact that it was a very huge possibility, I picked up the lead and walked towards him, holding it up like a weapon.
"You know, if I didn't know you so well, I would think you were trying to insinuate something," he teased. I scowled at him and he tilted his head to the side, sticking his bottom lip out.
"You know you can't stay angry at me, Blue," he whispered, standing right in front of me. "You never could." Then, without so much as a warning, he pressed his lips against mine and kissed me. I stood for a few moments, completely dazed. Then I realised exactly what was happening. But instead of pushing him off and telling him where to go, I found myself responding to him nibbling my lip, and letting my tongue dance with his. Because, even though I had spent the last ten minutes trying to convince myself that this was completely ludicrous, the fact remained that there was a very good looking, naked teenage boy kissing me.
And who the hell would say no to that?
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Wow, it took me ages to write this....I actually started writing it on the 28th December...oops...aah well, you've got it now...vote comment and fan please....this is actually quite a fun book to write...hmm...
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He Was A Dog When I Left, I Swear!
Humor"I can't really remember much before I was four," I admitted, shrugging my shoulders. "Four seems to be where I stop." He nodded, digging his teeth into his lower lip as he stepped in front of the window, as if to protect us both from someone lookin...
