Twisted Perfection ~ Everlark

Reflection.

Katniss' Pov:

I feel the sun on my face. To my surprise it's actually appeared this morning. The grass bares no frost this winter, yet remains as fine green wands in mild air. This winter, in which should always be the coldest season, the green wands still shoot up from the earth. They show life and resilience that even though they should still be hurried and buried away into little pockets of the earth, it gives me hope that something in this world can still defy an expectation.

For all the years I've lived in 12, I've only ever known cold and bitter winters. They made living in what seemed to be a shack, even harder. Trying to find logs in the forest with Gale, that weren't soaked from the snow was hard. Me, my mother and Prim would spend many a morning snuggled around the fire pit in the hob to stay warm. However, this winter morning in 12 is enjoyable. It's peaceful and hopeful, yet I don't know why. It is the sort of winter where one feels as if the woollen clothing is worn more for comfort than necessity.

I look to my left, to see nobody. After my nightmare, I must have headed home. Sometimes I find that my own company can will them off, not Peeta's.

I potter downstairs to see Buttercup meowing at me for some attention. I go over to him, stroking his scruffy, but soft fur. He's a moody cat, if ever there was one. He's incredibly miserable, yet somewhat loveable. I scoop his body up and head towards the fire and sit down. I enclose Prim's blanket around my shoulders and reminisce her smell. It still lingers on there.

He nuzzles his scruffy head into my lap and purrs loudly. I stroke his head and plummet into a daydream. I blink slowly and my mind takes me back to the night at the beach. It can't leave my head. I am disabled by the thought for what seems like 2 hours, yet in reality it's probably 2 minutes.

"Nobody needs me."

The words play in my head over and over again. They don't stop. I become so tranced in my thoughts, that all of the noise disappears in an instant. It's like being stuck between two realities: one that's imperfect, but doable. The other the vision where I picture myself in, the one I long myself to be a part of. Back on the beach. Was is a possibility to make that world into reality? The only thing that separates me from achieving the dream is myself. Having to tell Peeta I can't stop relapsing it in my head is not something that my body does for me. I have to do it myself. So that, I do.

I slip the blanket off and quickly slip my arms through my father's hunting jacket. Before I spring through the door, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My face is worn, but still plump. My eyes are shallow, yet Peeta will still find himself staring into them. I'm not all skin and bone. I do still posses arm muscle from the many years of hunting and pulling the bow. Surprisingly, underneath my eyes there are no dark circles, just a slight rim underneath my bottom lashes. My eyes roam critically from one feature to another and catalog it in my brain.

I stop my actions and go out the front door, only to end at Peeta's.

I gently knock, being careful not to sound too intrusive. I hear the latch rattling around and the door swings open to reveal Peeta.

"Can I come in?" I ask. His face brightens up.

"Sure." he says, opening the door wider to grant my entrance.

"You were here last night, real or not real?" He asks me.

"Real." I say smiling. I notice whenever I smile, he always stares at me, then my lips and then into my eyes. He quickly realises the trance he has become too invested in.

"Why did you leave?" He asks.

"I don't know. I guess I just wanted to be alone for a bit." I say truthfully.

"Oh, so what brings you here?" He asks, as if I never come to his house. To be honest, I rarely do. I know I said I sometimes have breakfast here, but out of all the days in a month, I only spend 1 or 2 nights by his side. Even if I stay for breakfast, I don't stay the day. I slip my jacket off.

We walk towards the kitchen.

"I wanted to just say something. I don't know how you're going to react but I need to say it." I say. I wait for a reply.

"This sounds important." He says smiling.

"Yeah it is." I respond.

An awkward silence appears in the room and once again I feel Peeta's eyes looking into mine intently, then at my lips and then back up. I see his throat and Adam's apple jolt up and then back down as he swallows.

"So, um. The night at the beach, you remember that right?" I ask. He nods his head gently.

"I feel like we've been drifting apart lately. To be honest, we drifted apart a while ago." I say. He hangs his head low and sighs.

"Yeah. I've felt it too. But I don't understand. What has the night at the beach got to do with this?" He asks, looking at me confused.

"You said nobody needs me. Those words keep playing over and over in my head." I say, trying to be as truthful as possible.

Just cut to the chase Katniss.

"What I'm trying to say is...Peeta I need you. Friends or not, I need you in my life. You're a safe stability." I pause and wait for a response.

"I thought you'd given up on me." He says, sighing and then smiling.

"I would never give up on you Peeta." I say. Why would I give up on him? He's perfect. Too perfect.

"What do you mean, friends or not?" He asks. I think he knows perfectly well what I mean, but I still clarify and answer his question.

"We both know that we will never be just friends, but we're not ready for that right now. I want us to rely on one another, like friends do. " I say. I don't tell him that I enjoyed the kiss and that I don't feel ready. I use 'we' as I don't want him to see me as weak. Weak for not wanting anything more than friends at the moment. He was the one who was tortured, beaten...hijacked. He's not weak at all, just a little less stable than me. But to be honest, I don't know what 'stable' is anymore...

I hope you enjoyed that chapter! I really wanted to write another Everlark story because I felt as though my other story about Everlark was too rushed. I mean...Katniss have birth at 19... It wasn't too realistic. Whereas I hope this story will be. Anyways, comment, vote and read on for more!