JENS
Jens pulled his backpack straps, hiking his bag up as he stood with Moyo and Robbe, watching Aaron kiss Amber for what had to the twentieth time in the last three minutes. He sighed and stretched his back, looking at Robbe and rolling his eyes, laughing.
Finally, Aaron approached them, and Moyo gently swatted at his shoulder.
"You take too fucking long to say goodbye, bro," Moyo said. Aaron hit him back and then turned to Jens.
"Hey, I have a question."
Jens stared with wide eyes, his hands tightening on his backpack.
"Okay? That's a little alarming."
"Uhm..." Aaron stepped closer and lowered his voice. "Are you telling other people about you and Lucas?"
"Oh." Jens looked away for a second leaned back, shifting his weight on his feet. "I don't know."
"Okay." Aaron nodded. "I just didn't want to bring it up to Amber in case she told Jana and it just...yeah."
"You haven't told Amber?" Moyo sounded surprised.
"No, I didn't want to out Jens."
"I haven't told anyone. I don't know if I will yet," Jens said. "Lucas isn't out to his friends yet either."
That was one reason Jens didn't want to tell others.
Aaron nodded, and said something to Moyo, something Jens didn't really hear.
Something about telling other people scared Jens. Made him feel trapped. It felt so permanent, like if anything happened, everything would collapse.
Jens tucked his hands into his pockets, his shoulders pulling up slightly, uncomfortable.
He didn't want to force Lucas to come out to anyone, even people Lucas didn't really know well. Didn't want to make Lucas feel pressured to come out to his own friends. He didn't lie when he told Lucas he didn't mind being a secret. It really didn't bother him to not be public, he wasn't desperate to post a mushy selfie with Lucas on his Instagram.
In a way, Jens was scared of being. People knowing he existed, people seeing the things he posted, people talking about it, talking about him.
It made his heart pound.
Jens startled as he felt a thump against his arm, looking up from the spot on the pavement he'd been staring at to Robbe, who raised his eyebrows at him.
"You okay?"
"Mm." Jens nodded, dropping his shoulder enough for Robbe to nod and look away.
YOU ARE READING
Starstruck (the Idea of Always)
Fanfiction"Just let me." Jens's voice was all he could hear. "Let me love you." Lucas let him.
