Starstruck (the Idea of Always)

Zondag 14:48

JENS
Jens sat next to Robbe on the ledge that overlooked the canal. He had a leg in front of him hanging over the ground, kicking the wall, and the other was bent in front of him, his skateboard propped up on it. His hood was pulled up over his head and he had to turn his head to look at Moyo as he spoke.

"I still can't believe Sander did that." Moyo nodded to the mural of Robbe across the bay, a smile on his face. This smile was different than the smile he gave when they first saw it. This one was happier, and as looked down at Robbe, it grew into a big grin.

Jens turned and looked at the mural too. The colors were just as intense as they were the first time they saw it, and when he glanced at Robbe, Robbe had a small, kind of wistful smile on his face.

"Yeah," Robbe said, looking up at Moyo, squinting in the sunlight. They both giggled.
     Jens zoned out, following the cracks in the pavement with his eyes, bouncing his leg so his heel hit the wall he sat on. He thought about Lucas.

He hadn't sent him another text since he apologized for whatever he did to mess them up. He figured Lucas just didn't want to talk to him.

Jens beat himself up about it, overthinking the whole night, wondering what exactly he did wrong. But no amount of thinking told him what it was, and no amount of thinking would make Lucas text him.

He had taken the bear Lucas gave him and stuffed it deep into his closet so he didn't have to look at it. It made him think of Lucas. But it not being there didn't make him think of him any less.

Jens looked up when he heard Moyo say, "Oh, God." Moyo was following two girls walking past with his eyes and leaned back slightly, his eyebrows going up.

"Guys..." He looked at them with wide eyes. "The blonde." He looked back over at the girls, a dreamy look on his face, and Jens rolled his eyes.

"Jens, come with me?" Moyo asked, looking at Jens hopefully. He looked like a child asking his mother for money to get candy.

"No."

"What? Why not?" All three looked over at Jens, confused.

"I just..." He shrugged, shaking his head and making a face. "Don't feel like it."

"You don't feel like going and talking to two beautiful girls?" Moyo said in disbelief.

"No," Jens replied, slightly harsher. He could feel his face hardening into an angry expression and didn't do anything about it.

"Are you okay, man?" Robbe asked, picking up on the sudden swing of emotion. He looked at Jens, his eyebrows turned down and his mouth frowning.

"I'm fine." Jens looked away, at Moyo and then Aaron, shaking his head slightly, like he was confused about why he was asking. Both of them had the same expression as Robbe. For some reason, it pissed Jens off even more. They didn't have to be worried about him. They should just leave him alone.

"Are you sure?" Aaron asked somewhat softly.

"I said I'm fucking fine," Jens said loudly. His heartbeat sped up and his nostrils flaring. His lips pursed, and he felt himself get hot, and his hands begin to shake.

"Woah," Moyo said under his breath, stepping back, surprised by the explosion. "Bro–"

"What?" Jens looked at him angrily, daring him to say something else. He didn't know what tipped him over the edge, nor was he really thinking about it. All he could think was that he wanted to go home. That he shouldn't have come and hung out with them in the first place.

"What's going on?" Robbe asked, and Jens looked at him. Robbe's eyes were wide, his eyebrows furrowed, his chin jutted.

Jens threw his hands up and then dropped them in his lap, knocking a knuckle against the gritty surface of his board, and ignoring the pain of the scratches skin.

"Why are you guys so worried?"

"Because you're our friend? And you're not usually like this?" Moyo said, matching his volume level. "Because we want to know what happening?"

"Just mind your business," Jens said harshly.

"Jens–" Aaron started.

"Leave me alone."

Jens grabbed his board and stood, walking off for a few steps before dropping the board and stepping on it, skating past the two girls Moyo had been gawking at.

"What the fuck?" he heard from behind him but was unable to tell which of them had said it.
     He huffed and stuck his hands in the pocket of his hoodie to try and get them to stop shaking.