Starstruck (the Idea of Always)

Dondersdag 13:03

JENS
Jens turned, holding his lunch tray, and faced the cafeteria. He looked at where the guys were, Aaron's and Moyo's backs to him, Robbe facing him. He caught Robbe's eye for a split second before Robbe looked away. Jens thought maybe he hadn't made eye contact, or it was so short Robbe didn't even notice it. Or maybe Robbe was just avoiding it.

Jens abruptly pivoted on the balls of his feet, slamming his tray down on a counter near the door, startling several people who didn't say anything to him. As he moved down the hallway, bumping and hitting people and backpacks and walls and doors, his eyes burned, his hands shook, his hair fell into his face, distorting his vision even more. He found his way to a bathroom on the ground floor, a bathroom that no one used (unless it was for getting high during exams).

It was empty, the door shutting behind him echoey and loud, the room sounding empty and hallow. He dropped his backpack on the floor, making another loud echo, and threw himself into a stall, slamming it shut and trying to lock it three times before he finally succeeded and collapsed to the ground, his back against the stall door.

He didn't realize he was finally crying until he felt tears stream down his neck, and then a sob broke out of him, his hands clapping over his mouth, in case someone could hear him.

Sobs racked his body, the door behind him creaking, his eyes squeezed shut. His gasps were loud, too loud, and he used his sleeves to wipe at his face, rubbing his nose until it was an angry red, just like his cheeks.

When the sobbing stopped (the tears were still trickling down his face), he leaned his head back against the door. He was tired, the skin on his face feeling tight from dried tears, his lips dry and chapped, still quivering.

All he wanted to do was get high. Maybe watch the guys play video games. Or something.

When he finally left the bathroom, it was a minute after the bell rang for class. He considered skipping but didn't want to be stuck in detention.

He felt sleepy, his eyelids dropping every few seconds in class, and he could feel that his nose was still red, his cheeks still splotchy. He could feel people looking at him when he walked into class.

But when he put his head down, he knew they couldn't see his face.