Chapter Nine: Deliberation

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It was impossible in this place to say how much time passed, but as Rey awoke, she felt refreshed. As awareness returned, she found herself still in Ben's arms.

"It's good I don't have a real body or some of my arms and legs would be numb right now," he told her teasingly.

She smiled up into his face and took a deep breath. "I'd kind of like to just stay here forever."

"I know." He sighed and looked off into the distance. "It's tempting to put off what we need to do. I know I'm afraid. I feel like if we never start, then we'll never fail. I'm afraid now I've gotten my hopes up, and if it doesn't work..." he shuddered, "...then my worst mistakes aren't fixable, and the galaxy must live with the consequences."

He looked back down at Rey's face. "Promise me you won't feel like you've failed if things don't go as planned."

She sat up and turned so that she was sitting with her back against him. She leaned the back of her head against his chest. He put his arms around her middle, and she put her hands on his. "I can't promise I won't feel that way. But, Ben, I thought a lot about your plans on my way to Exegol. As wonderful as it would be to save a hundred billion lives and five planets, I'm having some misgivings. Bringing people back from the dead is one thing, because at least they already existed. But because of the destruction of the Hosnian system, people who would have had children with other people who died there have now gone on to have children with different people. If we change history, those children will cease to exist."

She paused and continued carefully. "Ben, have you thought that maybe you're not supposed to change what has happened, no matter how bad it was, because wiping these children out of existence isn't the will of the Force?"

Ben was quiet for a long moment. "I have thought about it. A lot. It troubles me still. However, I—we, the First Order—already wiped out of existence all the millions of children who would have been born in the future to those who died in the attack. It's not just their parents we can save, it's them, too—people who will not otherwise exist if we don't try to change events.

"And it's not just the sentient beings, although they are the most important. It's also all the other life forms, the worlds themselves, and the irreplaceable works of art, architecture, history, and culture. What we did left a wound in the Force—a giant one. It might not have haunted the likes of Hux or Pryde, but it haunted me. I believe now that the Force is leading me to heal its wound."

"How do you know?"

"I spent so many years trying to ignore the will of the Force. I only cared about my own will. When I left my old life behind on Kef Bir, it was the first time in many years that I'd considered the will of the Force and what the right thing to do was, rather than only my own desires. It was like being reborn. I've been trying to listen to the Force and discern its will ever since. And since I've been here, I've felt led. Every time I come back to the World Between Worlds through a portal, regardless of which one I've gone through, the portals around me are the same. I can walk far away from them and enter another one, but when I come out, the same ones are there waiting for me: the Starkiller Base control room, the bridge where I killed my father, and the Star Destroyer Derriphan. In fact, there's the one we came out of earlier," he gestured to the one beside them, "and there's Starkiller Base," he continued, pointing to the one right across from them.

"The Force seems to want you to go there," Rey murmured. "But Ben, the First Order wiped out the majority of the New Republic defense fleet in the attack on the Hosnian system. If we save Hosnian, then after Starkiller Base is destroyed, The First Order will face resistance from a full-strength Republic fleet. It won't be able to take over the major systems like it did in the first timeline, and when Leia sends out her distress call from Crait, few will be afraid to come to the defense of the Resistance. The balance of power will be so drastically changed that events probably won't turn out the same."

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