Cinders [Completed]

Chapter 25: Secrets

Orion shakes his head.

"I thought you were dead. I was relieved to see that you weren't."

It feels like this isn't really registering in my mind.

"You knew who I was, all that time?" I echo.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you come after me?"

It's not a fair question to ask. It's not fair, at all. After all, if I had found my mate working as a scullery maid in the palace, covered in filth and small and skinny, I wouldn't come after them.

But he had still seemed so relieved, that night I came to him, the day I discovered Elia is dead. He had still wanted me to come find him. He had seen me, filthy and little and broken, and he still waited for me. He still wanted me.

"You didn't want me to," Orion explains softly. "I couldn't do that to you. At least, that's what I told myself."

I fold my arms tightly against my chest. Orion's eyes glance over mine before we both look away.

"But I."

Orion's voice halts. He clears his throat.

"I knew you were there," he continues, "I knew you were hurt. I saw you, needing my help, and I ran away. Because I was scared you didn't want me."

My lips part in surprise.

The elevator doors open. Orion ducks his head and walks out.

I follow in his wake, trying to cool the surprise in my expression. I watch, wordless, as he says a few short, quick words to the nurse at the front desk and steers me carefully into the same examination room that I was in before.

He closes the door. I try to think of what to say - torn between surprise and something blooming deep in my chest like adoration. He could have found me any day. But he - he gave me space. He gave me room until he couldn't any more. I lick my lips, trying to form the words that could thank him, when he begins again, something heavy and melancholic and harsh in his voice:

"I'll never forgive myself. You were with him. All I had to do was reach out a hand. I could've helped you. I could've stopped that attack before it began."

His eyes, black and intense, trace my expression. His adam's apple bobs as he swallows.

"I thought you should know," he whispers, "before you decide. I'm not as good as you think I am. I wanted to hide that from you, but you deserve to know, before you decide anything."

The door opens. I tear my eyes away from Orion and try to force my heartbeat down to a normal level.

"Dr. Harold?" I say, my voice shaky, when Harold walks in, clipboard in hand. "I thought Dr. Kent would be here."

"No, no," says the nervous man, tugging at his lab coat collar. "Kent has passed your case on to me. But this is just the final review, so it shouldn't take long."

Dr. Harold's eyes scan the clipboard in his hand with quick movements. His eyes keep flashing to Orion, standing behind me, like he's worried the Alpha Protum will attack him when he's not looking. It's starting to make me jittery.

Harold starts by scrutinizing the fading bruises on my face. It's almost entirely disappeared since the transfusion, leaving only a slightly yellowish pallor along my cheekbone.

I try to sit still. The examination isn't painful, but I still feel uncomfortable surrounded by doctors. When Orion gently presses his hand to the small of my back, it startles me so much that I jump noisily on the examination table.