The Thoughts Left Behind / A Reylo Fanfiction

10: A Bitter Return-End Book 1

I wake up, coming to my senses I find myself lying on the floor of Ben's ship on top of his old cape. I look up to see Ben navigating the ship, analyzing the flight path of the short time left of this journey. Suddenly my memories seep back into my head, remembering what we had shared before I drifted off to sleep.

"H-how long was I out?" I groan, sitting up and flexing my stiff muscles from lying on the cold hard ground. 

"just a couple of hours, we're nearly there."

"Oh, okay." The cold tone of his voice throws me off for a second. Slightly concerned, I opt of the bold choice, easing his hands off of the control board and guiding them to my waist as I place myself on his lap. I stare into his eyes but he looks away instead. Aggravated, I get off his lap.

"Where was the Ben from last night?"

"This was a mistake. That kiss was a mistake."

"Then what is the point of all this, the force bonds, everything we have shared. Does it all mean nothing to you?" He doesn't reply, I scoff at his arrogance.

"Look the only reason I am doing this is to get to my mother and return you safely to Naboo and the Resistance. Your role was to get me out."

"But I belong with you Ben, I know that now. Like I said before, what are we going to do now after all this time? Hux has lost his sith, the Resistance is on top, we could go anywhere we want now they don't need us. We've done enough, has this all not been apparent to you since the 4 years we'eve been running in circles in our own little forest!"

"I can't deal with your stupidity right now I have to land this ship!" His words strike me like arrows, piercing my skin.

"Fine! Makeup your excuses! I'd much rather you crash and kill us both."I linger behind him, trying to hold back the emotions bursting out of me. We come into Naboo's atmosphere, the waterfalls come into view and I was as the ship gently comes to a halt in the middle of the city's central square, outside of the Royal House. 

I step into the doorway, I hold my staff, satchel, and belongings. Ben gets up from the pilot's seat. He grabs his bags as well. He stiffens as he notices me in the way. The gossip from people gathering around the ship starts to fill our ears, we both know their eagerness to find out who is inside. I stare into his eyes as we share this final solemn moment. 

We have endured a lot over the time we have known each other, I thought it would continue growing. I could see everything. I remember touching his hand back in Ach-to seeing what we would share together, everything about him, his pain and suffering, hs happiness and triumphs. The strong presence of force dies away, I can't feel the connection anymore as if we are on opposite ends of the galaxy. I now only see the black pools in his eyes which show nothing but cold blank swirls of black and grey. 

The floodgate of emotions burst from me and I send him flying into the pilot's chair in a silent cry of anger. I slam the trapdoor closed and climb down the ladder, half sprinting towards the Royal House through the ever-growing crowd. With my hood up no one seems to notice or care about me leaving the ship. They can feel the presence of another lingering in the ship, a feeling I cant sense. I push my way through the grand doors of the front entrance. I would break down here if it weren't for the annoying assistant instructing me towards my new apartment. 

I have heard of the construction of the new buildings and bases built by the Resistance since I was away, one of them is an elegantly constructed building about four stories high, its exterior featuring large windows and sunroofs, allowing the morning sun to pass through its pristine glass panels. The key I was given says room 409 so I make my way up the flights of stairs, straining to get to my only place of isolation from the bustling crowds of this crammed city. I burst into the room. The natural light burns my eyes and I desperately reach for the blinds.  finally, I surrounded by darkness. I stop taking in the silence and find myself on the cool marble tiles of my small kitchenette, breaking the silence with heaving sobs of betrayal. 

This small clammy apartment nestled in the inner city makes me feel trapped. Even the rolling hills I climbed to get to the cool soothing pools have been obscured from view. I just feel trapped, a bird in a cage, my string to Ben cut off like the wings with which I flew. 

Part 2, When Our Thoughts Change and Flicker is out now!!

https://www.wattpad.com/865295623-when-our-thoughts-change-and-flicker-a-reylo