"Rey."
Kylo stands only feet away from me, his strong, muscular figure towering over me making me feel small in his presence. The rage once burning inside of me all this time has now depleted and the feeling of him isn't scary or demeaning, but comforting and calm.
"Why is this happening again? After all this time. Why are you doing this?"
"Why would I be doing this?"
A small chuckle escaping his lips. Its almost as if he's amused to see me, but as soon it appears the small smirk on his lips falls back into a serious expression once more.
"I can't do this right now."
I can grow to be comfortable around him. He's no more than an enemy to the resistance and to me. He is just a monster.
"Why? Tell me."
"Ever since I began growing up on my own on Jakku, there has always been what has felt to be like a small hole in my life. But since Crait it has grown bigger and I have been trying to live with it for a year but I can't anymore. I need to find the missing piece that can make me whole again, so I can feel balanced and not live my life as if it's a tipped scale."
As he begins to talk again I cut him off.
"Mayb-"
"Stop. You're wasting my time."
My conscious returns and I am able to refrain my self from saying any more. Why did I say all of that? He doesn't need to know? Imagine if I accidentally said where the resistance base if established on Naboo, they would be sent into ruin before you could say, maker.
" How am I wasting your time?"
His voice growing with concern.
"Just leave me alone."
"No Rey. I think what you are looking for is right in front of you, you just, need to see it in order to realise that it's there."
"No Kylo, I hate this, I hate you!"
His gaze narrows, all of a sudden a pang of nerves grows in my stomach like butterflies taking flight.
"No Rey your denial is putrid. You crave this you crave me because of its something and someone for you to hold onto. Fist Han, then Leia and now Me! Come on Rey JUST SAY IT!"
"No"
Tears well up in my eyes and I am overcome by a wave of emotion. Pulled under by its strong current.
"Fine. Keep resisting and wallowing in denial, at least I'm not the one who is going to regret my choices."
His figure fades away and my surrounding return, the bright sunlight stinging my eyes. The green pasture and rocky cliff faces return and I am left with his voice still buzzing in my head.
"You crave this you crave me."
But I continue to deny. I won't I can't.
I can't love him.
The butterflies settle into slumber again but the small part of me longing for him still burning like a small candle flame inside of me, burning more than ever.
.
.
.
The echoey darkness of the force bond disappears from around me and I find myself standing in my room, darkness and red lights illuminating the room as the empty void of space lingers outside my window on the First Order Star Destroyer. Why is she so stubborn? Why does she resist her feelings? Me? I can feel it, a part of her knows its there but yet she tries so hard to extinguish the small flame inside her which longs for love. To be loved. The resistance has contorted her mind into a rigid grid, not knowing which choices are theirs or her own.
But I must keep trying.
.
.
.
It's still early days, but the resistance is regaining strength in numbers by the week. Rey has been gone for some time now and I can tell its wearing into Poe, Finn and her other close friends and companions. I'll consider contacting her soon, maybe write her a letter for once but not yet. I am still in the midst of creating a small council to regain some order here and for the resistance elsewhere but it all feels like false hope sometimes. But this is the last thing I want to stand for.
I still think of my son often. When I heard of the rare force bond her shared with Rey, I had a feeling he could be swayed even the slightest, but I understand the Rey is still finding her own path before she can mend his. I glimpse the two of them together in future times but now all I can have is a little hope
-Authors note:
I'm glad I squeezed this episode in this weekend, it's good to see some connection between Ben and Rey now and prepare to see some more
Have a good weekend!
-Mavethe4ce be with you
YOU ARE READING
The Thoughts Left Behind / A Reylo Fanfiction
FantasyThe battle of Crait is over and mixed feelings are arising between Rey and Kylos force bond. Read on as an unlikely and passionate connection grows as the two battle to escape their trapping lives as the galaxy is at war with the first order...
