Where I Found You

Chapter 11 - Alyssa.

I don't think I've ever told anyone this and I don't think he's ever been told by anyone. But it seems right for this moment in time and I just want to think about something other than the fact that I've been played and messed around with by someone who I still love.

And he begins to murmur, "Well this is kind of hard. I haven't ever been asked this before, but hey - the truth is something you might not know."

"Tell me the truth then."

He laughs then, and it's the best sound I've heard for a while. "Well, the truth is that I . . . I want to ask questions."

"I want to ask questions too," I admit, and I can't help but think how stupid this conversation is. But I'm the one who started it.

"The more you talk, the more I want to ask questions. And it's not just now. It's everyday."

I don't know what that means. I don't know if I want to. So I just tell him, "If you want to ask me questions, you have to do something for me."

"Okay . . . "

I take in a deep breath, and that's when I know that Jack is not someone to be messed around with. I have to take him seriously no matter how ridiculous this conversation is and if he is going to move it to places it shouldn't be, I need to get out before I bury myself in a hole that's too deep for me to get out of.

"Don't tell my parents what you are going to do."

"Tell me what I am going to do, Alyssa."

I roll my eyes, through my tears. "You are going to drive up to The Overlook and wait. Wait until you see a blue car and then you're going to be able to ask me all the questions you have ever wanted."

"If you want, I can tell you what you're going to do."

"Tell me."

He sounds humoured but sincere, as he murmurs, "You're going to answer truthfully."

"That's okay," I whisper back, and I can tell neither of us are smiling.

-

It takes me an hour and a half to do all the following things - take a shower, arrange my face so I look less sad, choose my clothes, tidy my room, get in the car, drive there, get out, and walk towards Jack Hart sitting with his legs hanging off the edge of the rock face.

I don't think that he's heard me as I approach, watching as his dark blue shirt creases and then smooths out, creases, and then smooths out, in the wind. He has his back to me and I can't see his face, until he turns to look at me with a peculiar look.

"Why are you here?"

"Don't start yet!" I exclaim as I plop down beside him on the grassy rock. The rocky grass. Whatever it is. I can feel his eyes boring right into me as I look down at the river and the town beneath us, and suddenly I want to shout something and see how many people would hear. How many would think I was crazy. How many would smile.

"I asked you a question and you said you'd answer my questions," he growls, and when I turn around his emerald eyes are cutting right into mine, his jaw flexing.

I take in a shaky breath, and wrap my jacket further around me. The days are getting shorter and the air more bitter and the wind harsher. It's all happening too fast, like how yesterday happened too fast.

"Okay. Okay, Jack . . . " I stare back at him, my eyes running over his clean, blemish-less forehead and his dark eyebrows and curling, long black eyelashes which are definitely longer than mine. And his perfectly straight nose and the slight stubble on his jaw. I feel my eyebrows lift as I stare back into his forest green eyes, but he quickly looks away.