Hour Before Dawn

Chapter 7

It was right then and there, seeing her smile so genuinely despite being in pain, that made him crumble inside. He thought of how she could still manage to make him feel better with her smile when she herself have had to endure such agony. He thought of the crash, the cardioversion, the surgery, her unstable heart rate, her pain.

All the strong front he put on over the last two days has come down. Seeing first hand all that has happened to Ye-jin and what she's going through, he knew he was reaching his breaking point.

Bin took a deep breath and gave her a faint smile, his one hand stroking her forehead again. "You're such a trooper."

Ye-jin watched as his eyes turned glassy, making her frown. "Hey, what's wrong?"

He swallowed the lump in his throat to stop the tears from coming but they fell anyway. He lowered his head to avoid her eyes.

"It's really hard seeing you like this, Yej, really hard."

The sight of him that emotionally vulnerable also broke her heart, making her eyes water as well.

"My Beanie's crying again," she teased, trying to make light of the situation while wiping his tears. "I've never seen you cry until what happened the other day."

Bin shook his head and lowered it even more as his tears kept pouring out because he couldn't find the words to describe the torment in seeing her in such a state.

"Beanie," Ye-jin reached for his jaw and made him look at her. He had a frown on, his eyes were red and his face was wet with tears.

He kept shaking his head while trying to calm himself down before he could speak. Bin's shoulders shook as he sobbed quietly beside her while holding on to her. She didn't know what to say to bring comfort to him so she held his face in her palm instead, wiping his tears.

"I could have lost my Yejie," he finally said, his tears pouring out even more. He brought her hand to his forehead and looked down, his shoulders shaking while he sobbed harder. "I could have lost you."

"Beanie..."

He looked up at her and kept shaking his head. "What could I have done, Yejie? Nothing. There was nothing I could have done. No matter how much I wanted to make everything okay, there was nothing I could do. You would've just slipped out of my reach and left me just like that."

Ye-jin's tears fell continuously down her face while keeping her eyes on him. She could tell that he was in as much pain as she was, except his was emotional and mental torment.

"I could have lost you," he said again. "I could have lost you from the crash. I could have lost you if your heart gave in during that race. The doctor told me yesterday that if the crash didn't happen, there was a slim chance that you would've finished because your heart just can't handle it. Your heart could have stopped in that car, Yej. You could've died that day."

She tightened her hold on his hand and swallowed the lump in her throat.

"You could've died right there," he said as he frowned even more. Even just saying it outloud felt like his heart was being pierced with an arrow. "Why did you do the race? Why did you risk your life like that, Yej? I almost lost you."

"Beanie," she whispered, unsure of how to comfort him. "I'm sorry."

Bin kept shaking his head. "I can't lose you, Yejie. I can't not have you in my life. I can't. I just can't. I hate myself for wasting so much time, for settling with what we had, because I wanted more. I wanted more with you and I thought I wasn't gonna have that opportunity anymore. I can't lose you, Yejie. I can't."

"You didn't lose me, Beanie," Ye-jin said softly to him. "You're not gonna lose me. I'm right here."

"I almost did, Yej. I almost did."

"But you didn't," she said while wiping his tears.

"You have no idea how terrifying and painful it was," he said while looking at her. "I was afraid that I was gonna fly home by myself, that I was going to be sitting in the plane by myself while you're..."

He crunched his eyebrows and closed his eyes, unable to say the words.

"We're gonna fly home together, Beanie," Ye-jin said to him. "You don't have to worry about that anymore."

"I can't not worry about that, Yej. I'm still scared," he said while tears continuously fell from his eyes. "You looked settled when they transferred you here and then all of a sudden, you started crashing."

It broke her heart seeing how he was an emotional wreck and she couldn't blame him. She would be just the same if she was in his shoes.

"They couldn't stabilize your vital signs and I thought I was gonna lose you, Yej," he said in almost a whisper.

"I'm sorry, Beanie," she said to him while looking in his eyes. "I'm sorry you're going through this."

"Don't risk your life again, please, Yejie. Please. I know we couldn't stop the crash but you still could have died because of your heart problem."

Ye-jin wiped his tears and nodded at him.

He looked at her and savoured the sight of her alive, awake and breathing in front of him.

Bin remained quiet. They held each other's hands while they allowed each other to calm down. He was no longer sobbing but his tears kept falling.

Ye-jin looked at him and felt guilty for causing him so much pain.

"I wanted more, Yej, and I still want more. I can't lose you. I don't want to lose you," he finally said.

Through his tears, he looked deep into her eyes and poured his heart out even more.

"I love you, Yejie. I love you so much."

Ye-jin brought her hand to his face to wipe his tears again and caress his cheeks. "I know, Beanie. I know. I love you too."

Bin shook his head, thinking she didn't understand what his confession meant, and held her hand in both of his.

"Yejie," he began saying when she cut him off.

"I know, Beanie. I know exactly what you mean, and I love you too," she said softly while smiling through her tears.

Bin's eyebrows met, unsure if she was understanding him correctly.

Ye-jin read the expression on his face and looked deeper into his eyes. "I love you too, Beanie."

When he finally understood what she said, his heart skipped a beat. For a moment there, the chaos in his mind settled down and focused on those five words.

"Can you say that one more time?" He asked.

She smiled and cupped her palm on his jaw as she looked in his eyes, gladly repeating her words. "I love you too, Beanie."

Bin finally smiled. He stood up from his seat and slowly bent over her to kiss her forehead. They both closed their eyes as he rested his forehead against hers.

"I love you so much, Son Ye-jin," he whispered while their foreheads touched.

"I love you so much, Hyun Bin."

At a time of the greatest suffering they shared together since they became friends, an unexpected confession began their relationship as a couple. Hand in hand, armoured with the love they have for each other, they're fighting through one of the most difficult times they will have to endure in their lifetime.