Grow with the Flow (Published under Bliss Books)

Kabanata 20

He came close to me and cupped my face with a stressed expression. "Baby, you can have other dreams just not that—"

"That sounds like bullshit," I cut him off. Napahilamos siya ng mukha bago tumalikod. "Colton, come on. We can work things out. We just have to talk about—"

"No. You can never convince me," he firmly said like his ears were already close about this matter.

I was starting to lose my patience. "I don't get you! What are you so angry about? What's even so wrong about it?"

"Everything! Everything about it, Nayeli! I've been there! I know how the world works in there! People would stare at you—"

"Do you even hear yourself? There you go again with your obsession of not wanting people to see me! It's ridiculous! I'm so tired of getting caged in this lifetime! And so what if they do see me? Why can't other people see me?"

"Because you're mine!"

"There. You've said it. You treat me like your possession. Colton, I am not something you own all by yourself. Stop objectifying me!"

"Then go! Go for your dreams and fucking leave me. I guess you want the attention after all. You want all those motherfuckers to gawk all over you. Go and meet all kinds of men in that line of work. I bet you're just like those other girls who can't be contented and satisfied with just one man—"

I slapped him. I was shaking after his every word.

"Colton, you of all people, must know how my dream means a lot to me." A tear fell. "You of all people know what I've been through," I sobbed. "So, how dare you? How dare you compare me with your exes? How dare you accuse me of those things when I was so willing to compromise and make things work for us? How dare you when I'm still trying to give us a chance while I chase for my dreams?"

Tears were falling non-stop from my eyes.

"Ito ba ang gusto mo? Then fine." I wiped away all the tears. "Thank you for everything. There's no question that you've played a big part in my life. I'm grateful for all the memories we shared. I promise to make our breakup worth it. I hope you well, too."

My inside were trembling as I turned to walk away. I couldn't believe this. Is this really happening? I was just on my third step when a pair of warm hands tightly imprisoned me in a hug.

"No, no, baby. I'm sorry, Nayeli... I love you, I love you so much. I'm sorry for all the things I said. You know I didn't mean it... I love you. I love you so much. Please, baby... I'm sorry...please..."

I shut my eyes tightly and let all the tears fall. I could almost hear him sobbing from behind me.

"I'm sorry, baby, please, I love you...don't leave me, Nayeli..." He kept on saying and just wouldn't stop.

I turned to face him. Tears were streaming down his face.

"Please, baby, anything you want but just not that. Anything but that, baby, please. I love you very much..." he said with so much desperation.

I pulled my hands up to wipe his tears. I let my hands gently rub off the traces on his face.

"Colton..." I uttered. "This isn't healthy..." I softly said and cupped his face. "We still have a lot of time ahead of us and we should be reaching for our dreams—"

"But you are the dream, Nayeli," he cut me off. "You're all I ever wanted. To be with you forever is my dream..." he said almost begging.

I bowed my head and shook it. I then brought back my gaze to him.

"You shouldn't lose yourself for me, Colton. I'm sure, amazing things are up on your way as well. I know you're bound to something spectacular..." I stroked his cheeks. "I'm sorry but I'm choosing myself first, Colton. I'm letting you choose yourself. Let's find our ways back to where we're supposed to be. I'm chasing my dream. I hope we can be the best we can as we part ways. I will always wish you well, Colton. I love you..." I said and placed a soft kiss on his lips for the last time.

Inipon ko ang natitirang lakas para tumalikod at maglakad papalayo. Narinig ko pa ang pagsinghap niya at ang mabilis na pagkapit niya sa braso ko.

"No, no, don't do this—" he said and embraced me tightly.

I shut my eyes tightly and exerted effort to get free from his hug. He remained begging until the very end. I closed the door of his room while my heart breaks. That night, I lost the love of my life to go after my dreams.