Irrelevant ≫Kootra

.03

then

"Seamus!", Jordan yells, his voice drifting down the hallway from the stream room. I laugh quietly as the yelling continues, Aleks name being added in as well. After a while the room goes silent only muffled voices now. Then I hear the door open and footsteps down the hall. Moments later the guys emerge from the hallway all of them laughing and cracking jokes.

Jordans eyes gain a new light at the sight of me. Running over, he pulls me into his arms and hugging me tightly. I laugh hugging back while all the other guys continue joking, even cracking jokes about how Id "whipped" Jordan.

"Shut up you guys, your just jealous I have an amazing girlfriend.", he states kissing my cheek. I flush bright red as the others chuckle.

"Nah, you keep her. You two are cute together besides I have a girlfriend.", James says sitting on the couch. Jordan releases me from the hug, but let's his arm fall around my waist still holding me close.

"So now what?", James asks looking up from his phone.

"We could get food because some one didn't let me eat before we recorded.", Aleks says casting a pointed look at Jordan who playfully rolls his eyes.

"I told you a time and you were the one who wasn't ready.", Jordan states.

"You still owe me food.", Aleks says zipping his hoodie up. Jordan sighs and nods, then groans as the other guys all decide they're hungry as well. Jordans eyes find me, a smile on his face just at the sight of me.

"Are you hungry babe?"

"Starving, I've been waiting for you goofs.", I say. Jordan chuckles while Aleks looks at me raising an eyebrow.

"You did not just call me a goof.", he replies rather sassily.

"Oh but I did.", I giggle.

"Oh your gonna get it!", he yells running toward me. Jordan steps in front of me, shielding me while I cling to him laughing. Aleks stops putting on a fake pout. I look over Jordans shoulder, still cowering behind him so Aleks couldn't touch me.

"You can't touch her."

"Not fair Hordan!", Aleks yells. I encircle Jordan in my arms from behind, standing on my tip toes to kiss his cheek from behind.

"Plenty fair, and anyone who's coming were leaving now!", Jordan announces. I release my grip on Jordan heading for the door. Jordans hand finds mine as we walk down the carpeted stairwell toward the main doors. A small crowd of the others follow close behind. I stand outside of Jordans car, leaning against it waiting as they discuss where we were going to eat. Finally they make a unanimous decision to go eat at the Wendy's down the road.

"Fine with you babe?", Jordan asks looking at me. I nod in agreement, now craving a bacon cheeseburger.

"I forgot you had to run it through with your boss.", James teases. Jordan rolls his eyes getting in the drivers side of the car. I get in the passenger side, buckling my seat belt. I watch as James and Aleks pile into the car parked next to ours both of their mouths moving, but sadly I couldn't distinguish what they were saying.

As Jordan starts the car, I feel the soft, cold, flesh of his hand wrap around my hand, interlocking our fingers together. The action made me feel content, possibly even overjoyed to have this. Jordan and I exchange conversation about everything from our days then slowly shift to how much we love each other. Our words are confident as we continue to share our infatuation with each other, neither of us thinking twice about the words spilling from our lips or the glances we sneak at each other amidst the chattering.

now

Sighing, I push the hair from my face trying to get it to stay out of my eyes as I drive down the interstate. Currently I was on my way to meet Jordan for dinner with him and some friends of his. Normally I'd be over joyed for this, but tonight was the new episode of Supernatural, something Jordan and I always watched together, well used to as he's missed the past three weeks due to work. Getting out, the toes of my vans get drenched from a puddle just out side my car door. Mumbling under my breath I head inside the Wendy's I wasn't excited to be at.

Scanning the restaurant I spot Jordan and the others. Walking over, I notice there's no spot next to Jordan. The metal chair squeals as I pull it out making me cringe and everyone's attention snap,toward me.

"Hey Holly.", Aleks says. I smile at him, but it quickly fades as Jordan doesn't acknowledge my presence at the table, just carries on with his conversation with James. A sinking feeling occurs within as I watch him a certain joy in his eyes as he talks. His eyes land on me and the joy seems to be wiped away. The sinking feeling increases as I hang my head, my eyes focused on my lap as tears sting at my eyes.

"You better get your food.", Jordan says.

"Can you come with me..."

"You can do it, it's not that far. Anyway James and I are in the middle of planning a video.", Jordan says. I nod and watch as he begins talking to James again.

"Come on, I'll go.", Aleks says, his eyes showing pity. That's all this was though, a pity act. He didn't quite care, just felt bad for Jordans neglect. Slowly I get up and make my way to the counter to order. Before I can reach into my pocket, Aleks has already paid. Sighing I take the ticket as we stand off to the side.

"What's up with Jordan?", Aleks asks. I shrug unknowingly, but longing to know. I didn't know whether Id grown boring or whether I just didn't fit the bill.

"I don't know..", I say softly.

"I'm sorry.", Aleks says. I nod then we stand there in silence waiting for me food. Neither of us could muster up the courage to speak and even if we could there was nothing to be said. Finally I get my food, the proceed back to the table. Eating silently I watch as Jordan laughs and jokes with the others paying no mind to me.

As I eat the sinking feeling continues to worsen, my lungs become anchors and my breathes come in uneven. I excuse myself to no one in particular then get up heading to the bathroom. Looking at myself in the mirror I notice every little flaw I have. Too many freckles span along the bridge over my nose and cheeks, eyes are just a bit too wide at all times, fat arms, chubby torso, messy hair, and so on. The once specific statements become broad and general to the point where nothing's even right.

Gripping onto the sink counter, my knuckles turn white as I try to to fall to the ground. No wonder Jordan didn't like me I don't even like me. Blinking back tears, I attempt to compose myself heading back, convinced that I couldn't cry in front of them and that would be my motivation not to do it. As I sit Jordan glances at me, looking slightly on edge and worried, about what was unknown, but I can venture to guess it wasn't me making him worried.

a/n
My parent fought all night and I couldn't focus but I finally did it.
I'm so tired though.
I should go to bed, but sleep won't come.
So back to youtube, bye xx