Irrelevant ≫Kootra

.12

then

"Jordan what are we going to do?", I ask as I make my way through my apartment, a phone held up to my ear. I'd finally decided that it was time for Jordan and I to move in together. We'd been together for a while now and it seemed as if it kept getting better. I had kept waiting patiently assuming he was on the same page, but had grown far too tired of waiting and decided to take it into my own hands.

"What are we going to do about what?", Jordan asks sounding confused. I sigh at his cluelessness; boys were so stupid sometimes.

"Our living situation.", I say nervously, hoping that he'd catch on to what I was hinting at. There's a small pause, only some static echoing. Jordan let's out a deep breath that I hear through the phone speaker, but doesn't speak quite yet.

"You want to move in don't you?", he asks. As he speaks I can almost hear his smile, in fact I can see a crystal clear image of it in my mind. His teeth showing, the corners of his lips turned up in a crooked smile. I nod even though he can't see me.

"Yes...I mean only if you want to I don't want to rush it.", I blurt out all at once and rather rushed as well.

"Holly we stay over at each others ever night practically....I'd be more than happy for you to live with me.", Jordan replies. I let out a small squeal and Jordan laughs as I jump up and down.

"We've got a lot of packing though.", Jordan says.

"I don't have that much stuff.", I gasp, defending myself.

"Yes you do, I'll be over soon.", Jordan says before hanging up not even giving me a chance to reply;I was okay with that though.

Thus began the three week long process of moving all of my stuff from my apartment into Jordans. We began with my essentials packing up the things I needed most in daily life. We then moved them that same night allowing me to live there even though all of my things weren't there yet.

As the weeks slowly creeped on we began going over there for thirty minutes every few days and putting things in boxes, but not trying to move them; just preparing. Then after three weeks had passed by we had gotten everything in a few boxes, okay in a lot of boxes. Jordan proceeded with his teasing about having a massive amount of things the entire time we load things up for transport.

With some strenuous lifting and carrying we get all the boxes into the moving truck. Once we finish Jordan drives us back to his-now our apartment.

"Do we have to unpack this all tonight?", I ask sighing.

"Of course not, just get it in here so I can return the moving truck.", Jordan states. I nod, dragging my feet as I head to the back to unload things. Jordan quickly catches me in his arms; spinning me around to face him.

"I love you.", he says before kissing me. I kiss back, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I love you too.", he mumbles against my lips. I grin as he pulls back and takes my hand leading me to the back to begin the long process of unloading boxes and carrying them inside.

now

"Jordan we need to have a talk.", I say, my voice barely above a whisper but it's enough to get Jordans attention. He nods slowly getting up and following me to the living room. I take a seat on the couch, avoiding all eye contact with him as I fidget nervously.

"Holly what's wrong?", he asks sounding worried. I keep my eyes averted to the ground and take in a deep breath.

"Jordan I can't do this anymore.", I say looking up at him, my eyes locking with his. Jordans eyes go wide with shock and worry as he reaches out to grasp my hand. I resist the urge to pull my hand back in fear of caving but tell myself it'll be okay. I'm strong, I can do this.

"W-What...babe..Holly please.", Jordan says, his tone of voice desperate.

"I'm sorry Jordan. I can't do it."

"Can't do what, what's wrong?", he asks tears begging to form in his eyes. I look away again not able to stand the sight of his heart breaking; he had done it to himself after all.

"You ignore me. You have been for a long time now and you always say it'll stop but it never does. Jordan I once was my own person, I had something now I'm so dependent on you and you just don't care and I cannot do it.", I say.

"Holly please don't leave me, I'll fix it.", he promises but I shake my head.

"You always say that Jordan.."

"I promise."

"No Jordan. I've been stripped down to nothing, I'm vulnerable and you don't care. You hurt me more than anything."

"Holly..."

"Jordan, no. You're an amazing person and any girl is lucky to have you, just not me. You're clearly not as interested in me and that's okay. Good bye.", I say softly getting up. I try to keep the tears from falling as I head upstairs to where I had my bags packed and ready to go.

Jordans hand grasps my wrist and I look back at him. Tears are freely falling but he's ignoring it, looking straight at me.

"Bye Holly, find someone good for you.", he says hugging me tightly. I hug back tears finally starting to fall from my eyes. Jordan wipes them away and kisses my forehead.

"You too, Bye Jordan." I whisper before bolting to the bedroom. I quickly gather my things and then do the walk of shame toward the door. Jordan watches me go, a look of devastation on his face but he doesn't utter another word; just watches me go.

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a/n
I pushed this off for the longest time
I'm a little dead from writing this.
That's all