Schatzi

40

Heidi was an idiot but Eli had thought over why her daydreaming annoyed him so much at night on several occasions. Was that what people saw in him? Despite the isolation and terror of being caught, he was in a better headspace than he had been 10 years ago. Maybe he was just in denial. But even so, he remembered vividly his blind panic and the moments when everything seemed fake and inconsequential. When it all felt like a dream. People had called him insane back then and they hadn't been shy to tell him he should be in an institution far away from normal people, locked up with other people like him.

Was that what they saw? An idiot desperate for attention like Heidi was? If she kept up with this game of witchcraft maybe they'd threaten to cart her off to some asylum too. But that wasn't real. Everything about Heidi was fake and made up for fun. She was a fourteen year old girl growing up in a war zone where she was never the centre of attention anymore.

First it was the new baby that stole her spotlight. The Nazi child that Brigitte had bore. From the moment he was brought home, he was the only thing that mattered anymore. He was apparently the ray of hope for the family because he'd increase the amount of money they were provided with. And he was sort of cute. Heidi had been happy to play mother to the boy for a while but he quickly got boring and just like everything else, she wanted something new. But there were no more new children and when the baby died aged one, everything went back to normal. Except Heidi was still not adored like she wanted to be.

Their meagre rations mattered more to the family than Heidi's new dress that was a hand-me-down from her sister. No one cared when she had her first kiss with the handsome boy at school. People didn't bat an eye when she screamed bloody murder in her room, pretending to cast spells and curses over her unaffected family in an attempt to gain their attention. No one cared about her anymore.

So she'd turned her attentions to the people living in the walls. She talked to them most days she was free and although she annoyed him, Eli tolerated her because he had nothing better to do. She was someone new to talk to and at this point he'd take anything, even her ramblings about her new hobby as she spoke of her dreams and ambitions, overusing new words she'd learnt from her friends at lunch break. She seemed to like him, talking for hours about how they were so alike. Eli was insane and if people found out about her gift they'd think she was insane too.

"People are just too close minded these days," she'd sighed one day. "They'd lock me up if they found out. Oh, Eli, it would be so tragic! I'd never see the light of day again, locked in there with those lunatics! Oh! I'm sure there'd be a tragically handsome guard who works for Hitler and his horrendously strict regime that forced me to be locked away like this, but Eli, he doesn't actually agree with them. See, he's so handsome and so kind that he could never be a bad person. He'd be perfect, and he'd fall in love with the tragically beautiful but insane young woman." She paused and spoke to Eli in a stage whisper, "that's me!

"He'd realise I'm not crazy and I don't belong there and he'd whisk me off into the sunset and we'd live happily ever after and have lots of beautiful babies. It would be so perfect, Eli, don't you agree? See, you and I are the same. We both know what it's like to be shunned by society, to be outcasts. You're the only person I can talk to about this, Eli, because you know what it's like to be oppressed, just like I am."

Eli and Rachel were the only exciting things in her life anymore and although she knew she couldn't tell anyone about it, the thrill of the secret was enough for her. For a while at least.

There was a loud crash and raised voices from downstairs that immediately drew Eli's attention. He dropped the card Heidi had drawn from the deck onto the floor and rushed down the stairs to peer through the crack in the door. The Death card slowly floated down to the floor to land face up, the intricate drawing of a skeleton in armour astride a horse trampled under Heidi's heel as she ran to follow him, excited about whatever it was that was happening.

"Eli!" She said, pressing up against the wall and trying to shove him out the way so she could look through to the pantry. "Move, I want to see!"

Eli immediately slapped his hand over her mouth, pushing her away and holding her at arms length. She tried to pull his hand away but he held her tightly, putting a finger to his lips to signal to her that she had to be silent. Outside of the door, he could hear the heavy footsteps of several SS officers patrolling the house. This wasn't just a regular visit. They knew something. He could hear Brigitte trying to lie to them but they were having none of it and there was a loud bang and she wasn't crying anymore. It sounded like they'd knocked her out.

Eli held his breath, too scared to even breathe.

If they found them, they were dead. They were all dead.

He wanted to turn away but he couldn't do it. He needed to watch, needed to know if they were getting closer and closer until eventually they found their secret hideaway and they broke down the door and dragged them away, kicking and screaming. He couldn't sit in complete silence, hugging his mother and waiting.

He needed to know.

He could hear Heidi's heartbeat and realised she was just as scared as he was. If they found them, they'd probably take her to prison as well. She may have been stupid but she understood the danger she was in.

They were searching the house. He could hear them rooting through every cabinet, checking every door, looking for any sign of a hidden door or fake passports and papers or anything that would tell them they were hiding Jews in the walls.

For a while, they couldn't find anything.

Eli was beginning to think maybe they'd just move on and assume they'd made a mistake. Maybe it was the neighbours who they'd been tipped off about and they'd got the wrong house.

"Eli?" Heidi whispered. He looked and noticed he'd dropped his hand without realising but her cheeks were red from where he'd pinched her accidentally. "I'm sorry, but I don't want them to think I'm one of you."

She barged past him and opened the door, running out into the pantry and then up the stairs, calling for her mother with tear choked cries. The moment she'd opened the door, they'd been screwed. Eli had been leaning against it to look out of the peep hole and when it swung open when Heidi pushed it, he'd toppled out onto the cold floor, making a lot of noise that would get them killed for sure.

The officers noted where Heidi had come from and within seconds they were in the pantry, pointing guns at Eli just as he was getting to his feet.

He closed his eyes and let out the breath he'd been holding. It was over. It was finally all over.

He'd been running and hiding for years, dreading the day this happened. But now it had arrived and it didn't feel like how he'd expected it to feel.

He felt relieved.

He knew there was no hope and he couldn't fight it anymore.

Time felt slowed down. It felt like everything was happening in slow motion, a dream like haze stopping him from feeling properly.

Was he dreaming? Maybe this was all just a bad dream that he'd wake from soon. How long had he been dreaming? How much was real?

"Auf dem boden!"

Where the officers actually in the house or had he never woken up that morning? Maybe the whole two years in Brigitte's house had been a dream.

"Herunter kommen!"

Their words swirled around his head but he didn't take them in, didn't understand what they were saying.

Was Peter actually dead? Wouldn't it be wonderful to wake up in their bed back at home and realise everything had just been a terrible nightmare.

"Halt die klappe." Someone punched him in the back of the head and he stumbled forward, only to be pushed down harshly by whoever had hit him. "Nieder."

The pain that shot up his legs as his knees hit the floor brought him back to his senses. This was happening. It wasn't a dream. They'd really been caught and there really was a gun pressed to the back of his head.