Begin Again

Begin Again: Chapter Four

"Justin" I breathed, making him look at me.

His once hazel eyes were now almost black, his cheeks stained with tears. His lips quivered as he looked down and I knew that he was going to cry again. I hated, utterly despised when Justin cried. Justin almost looked helpless and weak, as if someone had taken away something that was precious to him. In this situation, I guess you could say that that was what happened.

Justin was so pumped for his Believe tour that he would forget the simplest thing. For instance, he left his toothbrush. When Justin found out (the first time) that Chaz had a two month affair with Selena, his world stopped. He cancelled two shows, only to pick up four more in the area.

When Justin was seen in public, he no longer had that genuine smile on his face. The smile that Selena was able to make appear on his face. He always looked depressed, his face was pale, and his eyes showed no emotion. Once at a concert, when the Beliebers knew about the Jelena concert, he sang acoustic for every single one of his songs. 

My fingers brushed through the hair on the back of his head, massaging his scalp softly. This was the only way that I knew how to calm him down. "Sh-she cheated o-on me with my b-best fr-friend," I stammered through tears.

"I know Justin. I know," I whispered, kissing his temple.

His tears collected on my shirt as his arms were on either side of me. My back was against the headboard and Justin laid his head on my shoulder, our legs tangled together. "Why would she do that to me? I thought I made her happy?"

Honestly, I didn't know. I had no clue why Selena would cheat on a sweetheart like Justin, why she would cheat on Justin with his best friend. I wasn't sure on how long they had been friends, but Justin was pretty torn about the whole thing. They stopped talking completely, and Selena continued to flaunt him like Justin's fans (and her fans) didn't know who Chaz was.

"No one loves me," Justin moans. "Everyone hates me."

I look down at him in shock. "Justin Drew Bieber, out of everything that you've said, this has to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth."

"What are you talking about?" 

"I love you, Justin. Your fans, your mom, your family, Jazzy, Jaxon, they love you. More people love you than you could ever know and seeing you hurt is breaking their hearts." My voice fails. "Jazzy and Jaxon would be lost without you, Justin. To them, you're their Superman, their big brother who can do anything and if I lost you..." My voice trails.

Justin's eyes scanned over my face. If I lost Justin, my life would be over. It's been a year of complete bliss with Justin and this accident made me realize how it can only takes a few seconds to lose someone. 

He moved off of me, his body warmth leaving also. I leaned forward, putting my face into the crook of his neck. My body trembled against his as I tried to force back tears. I couldn't cry, at least not in front of Justin. He kissed my temple, holding my body against his. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm such an idiot," he whispered.

"You're not an idiot," I said as I sniffled and wiped away tears.

"I made you feel bad," Justin explained as he kissed my temple again. I picked up Justin's iPhone from the table, taking it off of the charger. I went to the camera and pulled up a picture of the five of us (as in Pattie, Justin, Jaxon, Jazzy, and I).

"These four people in this picture are what make you happy Justin. Your mom is the loveliest woman that I've ever met and those two, they are your world. If anything every happened to them, you'd lose your mind."

Justin bit his lip. That has to be the sexiest thing ever. I wanted to kiss those lips of his, but I knew that he would be a little freaked out, even if I am his girlfriend. Justin continued to mess about on his phone as I settled back against the headboard and Justin laid his head on my shoulder. 

He reminded me of a small child that didn't want to leave his mother's side. I kissed his forehead and brushed my fingers through his hair. When I heard him snoring quietly, I saw his phone sliding out of his hand. His lips were parted lightly, allowing low tufts of air in.

"I love you," I say softly.

His hands laid loosely on the hospital bed, almost gripping at the blankets. I tilted my head a bit, wondering what he was dreaming about. His lips were pulled into a smirk, as if he was dreaming about something that was making him feel as if he was doing something right (for a change).

I got him relaxed underneath the comforter, my bottom lip between my teeth. Walking towards the door, I picked up my bag as one of Justin's doctors came into the room. "How is he?" he asked softly as I read is nametag. Dr. Mark Samuels. He better be treating Justin right.

"He falls asleep easily, much like two hours ago. He's fine though, I promise." 

We walked out of Justin's room and into the hallway. Dr. Samuels tucked a pen into his pocket. "Thank you for staying with him. Do you mind telling me who that other girl was that came to visit a few days ago?"

"That was Selena," I said while acting as if I wasn't about to stab myself in the eyes.

"Oh, but thank you once again Ms. Phillips. Justin is very lucky to have you."

I smiled at Dr. Samuels as I went out to meet my mom in the car. I climbed into the front seat and she kissed my temple. "Hey Honey, how was it?"

"He's starting to remember more. Although he doesn't remember much about us," I sighed.

It wasn't Justin's fault. None of this was Justin's fault. I rested my head on my fist as my mom drove me home, the thought of Justin on my mind.

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Author's Note:

In a way, this was complete crap. >.< I kind of didn't know what to write, but the next on in Justin's POV should be a bit better. Chaz may be coming into the picture, I don't know but we'll see. Sorry for the suckiness.