Avery's Anorexia

Chapter One - Degenerate

Before

When it happens, you don't believe there's a problem, not at first. It creeps up on you in this silent hover, and when you finally turn and see it it's too late. It has you in it's choking grasp-and it's never letting go anytime soon.

At fifteen I was 5'4 and weighed 158 lbs for my small frame. I felt absolutely disgusted with my body. As a child I was always chubby, but as I grew up I started to become extremely subconscious about it. The embarrassment started when I had reached high school. Girls are always judged on appearances, and it bothers us more than guys at times. That's why we resort to makeup and dieting and all these things to fit society's ideal depiction of us. The first instance was three months into my freshman year. I was still getting to learn about my new friends in this entirely different circle I latched onto. I felt accepted for the first time in years! Until one instance came up.

At lunch on a particularly sunny afternoon at school it amazed me how quickly a good day could turn into a bad one. My friends and I sat at bench area under the shade of trees looming overhead. There was a soft breeze blowing small wisps of my hair into my face. I tucked my hair behind my ear and tuned into the conversation.

"I hope I get asked to prom next year!" Savannah smiled with excited brown eyes. "Can you imagine it? A hot Jr. asking me to prom when I'm a sophomore?"

I smiled back. "That'd be cool." Though it was wishful thinking for a couple of overzealous freshmen girls.

"Oh gosh I would love that!" Ashley, a redheaded girl from my fifth period added.

"I need to go on a diet though," Savannah admitted. "I'm a little overweight. I want to slim down in time for prom. Come to think of it, I wonder how many calories this pizza has." She glanced down at her lunch tray uneasily.

I stared at that girl, convinced she was insane. Savannah had a perfect hour-glass figure. How in the world could she think she was overweight? I was overweight. Savannah didn't even come close to the amount of pounds I knew I needed to shed.

Bethany, a slim girl with a platinum blonde pixie cut, tanned skin, and a dark freckle by her left eye was giving Savannah an incredulous look. "You're kidding, right?"

"I'm serious!" Savannah seemed surprised Bethany would even think she was joking. "Don't you want to know what you're eating?"

"No," Bethany snorted. "Whatever, you call them calories. I call them bits of happiness!" Bethany took a large bite from her slice of pizza. The longer I looked at it, the more greasy I realized it was.

Bethany, although I hadn't known her long, was no princess when it came to food. That girl would eat anything anyone offered to her, yet here she sat- as petite and graceful as a pixie. It was no wonder she chose that haircut. It suited her well.

"How do you stay that skinny when you eat like that?" There was a pang of envy in Ashley's voice.

Bethany shrugged while she chewed. "Doctor says it's a fast metabolism. I'm trying to enjoy it while it lasts. They say as you get older your metabolism slows down."

My stomach began to sink at the thought of how slow my metabolism must have been. While Ashley and Savannah engaged into more trivial conversation, I stared down at my food- fending off the urge to cry. I wanted to be anywhere but here. If these girls thought they were overweight, what must they have thought when they looked at me? I felt like a pig surrounded by doves. I could never compare.

"Avery, you okay?" Bethany nudged me gently.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I mumbled.

Bethany didn't press me further.