oppressed feelings | jikook

two

Jungkook had never felt like this about anyone before. Never felt this attachment to another person. It was intense, it was intense how close he wanted to be with him, and yet he wanted to keep himself as far away from him as possible. These two things made things even more complicated in Jungkook's head. He felt like he was going to break soon if he didn't do anything.

It was eating him from the inside, it was eating him from the inside that he couldn't stop thinking about him, at least in that way. He wanted to stop so bad, but he couldn't.

Jungkook didn't want to be like this, he hated this. He hated himself for liking someone like Jimin, a guy. He desperately tried to get the desires of Jimin and him out of his head.

Jungkook felt embarrassed sometimes when he looked at Jimin after thinking about him that way.

If Jimin just knew what was going on inside Jungkook's little head.

Jungkook always felt really awkward when some of the members would talk about girls, boobs, sex and everything surrounding that. He couldn't join the conversations, simply because he wasn't like them. He had never understood what was so special about breasts, or just women in general when someone like Jimin existed.

It was mostly his own fault, he could just tell them, but it just wouldn't be that easy. They would find out about his feelings for Jimin for sure if he told them that he was attracted to guys.

Jungkook knew they wouldn't judge him or anything like that, but he was still so scared. What if they accidentally told someone who couldn't keep a secret? What if they talked about it and a staff accidentally heard something, and that person told their friend about it who then told every single person on this earth.

Jungkook sat in his room alone hugging himself.

Everything was so quiet.

Jimin had texted him goodnight two hours ago, so he was probably sleeping by now, and Jungkook didn't want to wake him up, he would feel so bad if he ever did so.

Jungkook never got a goodnight text from any of the other members. Another reason for Jungkook to be in love with Jimin. Jungkook knew that Jimin cared for him deeply, just like he did with all the other members. That was just the person he was.

Jungkook regularly thought back to some years ago where Jimin would publicly compliment Jungkook nonstop, it sometimes felt like he had no boundaries to how far he would dare to go.

Jungkook had always acted like he didn't care and rejected Jimin back then.

Jungkook had been so confused at that time.

He had been so confused about everything.

And Jimin had just made it even harder by mixing around his feelings, which eventually led Jungkook  to fall in love with Jimin.

Years had passed by where Jungkook hadn't even noticed it, but he had come to a point where he realised that he didn't feel the same way about all the other members. He didn't get the same tingly feeling in his stomach whenever they complimented him or touched him. It was completely different with Jimin. And he also caught himself feeling jealous at times when Jimin would joke around with the other members, or hug them or any kind of physical contact.

But one thing that he also noticed sometimes was how Jimin treated him compared to the way he treated others. When they were alone Jimin would constantly touch him and laugh at everything he said, he also did it when they were with the members.

He didn't think much of it though, Jimin was just an extremely sweet and overly caring person. He probably treated the others the same way when they were alone.

But nevertheless, Jungkook couldn't help but feel very special at times. Jimin made him feel that way. That was just how it was.

-

"Morning," a soft voice said behind Jungkook, and approached him from the back. Jungkook was filling a bottle with water so he quickly turned the sink off to greet the person he already knew who was.

"Hey," Jungkook smiled.

He smiled too wide.

Jungkook turned around again.

Was it too obvious?

And then, as if it was out of nowhere, he felt a pair of arms around his stomach, the feeling of a warm body against his own.

Jungkook completely stiffened, his body was not to be moved.

This was the reason why his feelings for Jimin never faded. It was when he did stuff like this they grew.

Jungkook going against everything in himself tried to ignore it and keep filling his bottle with water from the sink.

"Have you been working out more lately?" Jimin asked and suddenly started touching Jungkook's stomach with his hands, "you've gotten way harder here."

Jimin's hands were on top of Jungkook's shirt but it still felt so intimate to Jungkook.

How could he just do this so nonchalantly?

Jungkook wondered how long he would allow himself to feel like this. Allow himself to find this pleasurable.

"Wait have you gotten six pack?" Jimin was about to lift Jungkook's shirt up, his touch was so nice but Jungkook wouldn't let this go so far when it didn't even mean anything to Jimin.

Again Jungkook went against everything inside him telling him to let Jimin keep going.

Jungkook suddenly twisted himself out of Jimin grip, his heart pounding ten thousand times faster than normal with the half filled bottle in his hand.

The water was still going and Jimin looked shocked at Jungkook.

Jungkook felt all of his blood rush to his face, he needed to get away.

"Are you okay?" Jimin slowly said tilting his head a bit to the side.

"I- I need to go," and with that Jungkook stormed out of the kitchen.

Everything Jimin did was confusing.

Why would he do stuff like that?

Jungkook didn't understand it at all.

Jimin quietly stood back turning the water off.

Did he do something wrong?

Jimin couldn't seem to understand why Jungkook suddenly reacted like this, he always did stuff like this?

-

Second chapter🥰

The last time I updated this was quite a long time ago, sorry about that!

I hope you're enjoying this story so far and that you're staying safe in these times🥺

Love you all so much💌