Shadowhunters One-shots and Preferences

Pretending- Raphael Santiago

This one-shot is based on an episode from Bojack Horseman when Todd met his then-girlfriend Yolanda's family, all while the both of them hadn't come out to said family that they were asexual.

So the reader is asexual and her own family has been bugging her about why she hasn't gone out and met someone to spend her life with (heavily implied why she isn't out there getting laid). So to shut them up she asks Raphael to pretend to be her boyfriend and takes him to meet her family.

Family drama and some suggestive content. Enjoy.

You make a few sharp turns around the corner, knowing, or at least having some idea of where the Hotel Dumort was located. You needed this one favor from him, and hopefully he wouldn't refuse.

After losing your way once or twice, you finally found the place and dash in, passing the vampires that have taken residence in the hotel in the daylight (most of them were sleeping so you felt the need to tip toe so as not to disturb them). 

Eventually you found the one room with the one vampire you were looking for. "Raphael," you sigh in relief, "Thank goodness I found you. I need your help." "You have any idea what time of day it is, chica?" Raphael frowns, a clear sign that he just woke up. "I know, I know," you say, "But I wouldn't come here during this ungodly hour unless it was urgent." "What you want?" Raphael asks looking a little annoyed. You take in a deep breath before answering, "I need you to be my boyfriend."

Now that got the vampire's attention right quick, "(y/n), you know I'm not into that." "I know and neither am I," you tell him, "...but that's not something I ever told my family." Raphael seemed confused so you elaborate, "I grew up in what you might refer to as a sex positive home, although their definition of sex positive is having consensual sex whenever and wherever but...I was never interested in all that." "And you never told them because you didn't want them to think there something wrong with you," Raphael finishes, knowing what that was like. "Yeah," you nod, "Anyway they've been bugging me about it recently, so I finally told them I was seeing someone, doing my best to give them vague yet explicit details about my love and sex life. I thought I could get away with it until my parents up and told me they want to....meet...my boyfriend." 

"And that's why I need you to be that boyfriend," you continue, "Please, Raphael, you're my friend, and I don't ask a lot, but I can't come out to my parents just yet. It's just one night, that's all I'm asking." "You really think you'll be able to keep pulling this off?" Raphael points out. "It's not my best plan," you admit, "but I figure maybe after a month or so afterwards I can tell them we broke up and hopefully they won't bugged me anymore about my love life."
"I still don't think this is a good idea," Raphael admits, "But...you are my friend so I'll do it." "oh thank you so much, Raphy," you say hugging him, "I promise if this goes well I'll owe you one. I had them set dinner at 8 tonight. The sun should be down by then so you won't have to worry about getting burned." 

"Just how much did you think this through?" Raphael points out, "Like what about food?" "I told them you're on a juice cleanse," you add, "they understand. And I arranged for us to leave at an appropriate time before midnight, LONG before the sun comes up. It's gonna be just fine."

--------8 pm that night-------------

"So you remember what your backstory is?" you ask in the car right as you drove in front of the house you grew up in. "I am the manager of a nice high end, four star hotel," Raphael answers, "I have a business degree from a good college and, if they do end up asking, I am proficiently skilled in intercourse and foreplay." "Good, good, and good," you give him a thumbs up, "Alright, let's get in there and...get this over with."

The two of you walk into the house, where your parents where the first to greet you along with your sister. After the little reunion, you introduce Raphael to them as your boyfriend. They seemed impressed by his appearance.