Shadowhunters One-shots and Preferences

Cook Off

Based on this clip from Parks and Recreation. The reader learns that the Institute's cafe is no longer serving beef burgers, courtesy of a certain warlock,  so she issues a burger cook off to let the people decide.

Enjoy.

It was another day in the city. You had just finished morning patrol around the city and was eager to head back to the Institute for some lunch.
Normally the Institute cafe didn't always serve the best in terms of lunch (their grilled chicken and pork chops often turned out tough and a little bit dry as one example), something you picked up on right away after becoming a shadowhunters and being assigned to the New York Institute, but they made some really decent burgers which you knew they were serving today.

Your mouth was already watering just thinking about it; burgers from cuts of the best Angus beef with cheese and all the fixings. Although now that you think about it, fixings wouldn't even be necessary with these burgers, even condiments like ketchup and mustard would be optional and it would still be the best damn burger you ever had.

So you were at the Institute's cafeteria, standing in line and waiting for the best burger in town with all the fixings and condiments.
Once you got your eagerly awaited burger and found a place to sit, you take off the top bun, wanting to take one good look at it before you dive right in.
However, something wasn't quite right.

The meat was different looking, not quite what you're used to. You brush the feeling off, thinking it was probably just a different brand or something. You put the bun back on and take one bite of the burger.
Now you know something was definitely off.
The burger wasn't bad, but...there was something different about the taste, it wasn't as good as what you're accustomed.
You walk over to the kitchen so as to get to the bottom of this.

"Uh, excuse me, hello," you call out, trying to get one of the chefs attention, "Yeah, hey, my burger tastes funny, I demand an explanation."
"Oh it shouldn't be," one the cooks speaks up, "everyone's been loving the new turkey burgers." "Turkey burgers?" you frowns, "I'm sorry, who authorized this?"

----------five minutes later----------

"Alec!" you pound on Alec's bedroom door, "Alec, you get your ass out here right now before I kick the door down!" "You really don't want to do that, (y/n)," Alec calls out from the other side. "Oh believe me I do!" You counter. "And believe me you don't!" Alec counters back.

You were losing patience at this moment and took it upon yourself to ignore Alec's warning and kick the door open; an action you immediately regretted the moment you saw the sight before you.

Alec was in bed and thankfully beneath the sheets, but it turns out he wasn't alone. You stood there, too shocked to move, Magnus' voice from under the sheets pulled you from your state of paralysis, "You going to stay here and enjoy the show?" "Can you give us about five minutes?" Alec asks.
You nod and slowly close the door.

Five minutes later, Alec came out of the bedroom, more decently dressed then he was before.
"I'm almost certain there was a perfectly good explanation for you barging in when-" "I'd rather not discuss what I walked into right now," you interrupt, "Kick a closed door open at your own risk, lesson learned. Now, moving on, why did the Institute cafeteria switch out the beef burgers for turkey burgers?" "...you kicked down my door and walked in on me because of changes to the Institute menu?" Alec frowns.
"I kicked the door down and walked in  on you to address an injustice done," you correct, "Seriously, Alec, how could you allow this to happen? Those burgers are the damn best in this whole city, and I was looking forward to one after my morning patrol. What possessed you to fix what wasn't even broken?"

To answer that question Magnus walked out of the bedroom, wearing a silk robe. You look at Magnus then at Alec and back to Magnus again, and was pretty sure you could put two and two together.

"Oh, I get it now," you say, "I'm complaining to the wrong guy."
You then turn to Magnus, "Why did you convince me to change the regular burgers into turkey burgers?" "Turkey burgers are good for you," Magnus offers for an explanation, "Less fat and low chances of high cholesterol."

"Since when do Shadowhunters care about cholesterol?" you frown, "Wait, since when did you care about our diet?"
"Well Shadowhunters aren't the only people who eat from the cafe," Magnus answers, "And frankly the menu could use a few more health options, some of us are getting a little more portly lately." "By someone, you mean you," you deadpan, "you change the burgers just because you were starting to get insecure about your own body image? Why should the rest of us have to suffer?"

"(y/n), come on, cut Magnus some slack," Alec interjects, trying to de-escalate the situation, "you could at least give the new changes a chance, you haven't even done that."
"I've spent all morning slogging through sewers in lower Manhattan all the way to the Bronx trying to locate an alleged demon nest," you say in a serious tone, "I ended up with squat and the only thing  that was motivating me to make back here was a mouthwatering hamburger from the Institute cafeteria. And I can speak for many other Shadowhunters who inhabit this Institute who spend all day and all night patrolling the streets that they feel the same way as I do. How much motivation you think they're gonna have when they find out their favorite menu item was practically mutilated?"

"You're Shadowhunters, (y/n)," Alec deadpans, "that should be more then enough motivation."
"But-" "The changes still stand, (y/n), end of discussion."

You nod, then turn to glare at Magnus, "This isn't over," you say, before turning to leave.

-----sometime later-----------

Alec and Magnus walked out their shared room smelling something cooking outside.
The two walk outside to investigate.

Sure enough, a couple grills are out and lit, and right over was a long table with several chairs.
"What's all this?" Alec inquires of you as you bring out the raw meat and all the other fixings. "This is me making a statement," you answer, "I said it wasn't over. So I challenge you two, more Magnus, to a burger cook-off. My beef burgers against your crappy turkey burgers. We get Clary, Jace, and several others to do the taste judging and whoever wins, gets to decide which burgers the cafeteria will be serving."

"...Fine," Magnus accepts, "The sooner we get this done, the better. Alexander, why don't you take a seat by the judges table?" "Oh no, you don't," you warn, "Alec cant' be doing the judging. As both head of the Institute, and also as someone who intimately knows my opponent, it would be a direct conflict of interest."
"Okay, fine, you got me there," Magnus concedes, "Let the cook-off begin."

-----------a few grilled burgers later-------------

While you and Magnus were working on your patented burgers, Alec got Jace, Clary, Simon, and Isabelle to join in as the judges.

Magnus had just presented his fancy hipster style burger, to which everyone was impressed with. So now it was your turn.

"This is a burger on a bun," you state, placing each one in front of the judges, "I considered adding cheese, but changed my mind on that. Add ketchup and/or mustard if you want. I couldn't care less."

"Wow...just wow," Magnus crosses his arms, "I'm a little disappointed in you, (y/n). Here you were trying to make a statement and you didn't even put any effort into it."
"Never mind this is better," Simon calls out, after taking a bite. "Yeah, way better," Isabelle agrees. "Oh yeah," Jace adds.

"Biscuit?" Magnus turns to Clary, hoping she could be a voice of reason. "Sorry, Magnus," Clary shrugs, "But turkey can never beat burger." "Preach it, Clary," you smirk.
"I don't...I don't get it," Magnus sighs, feeling defeated. "Why don't you give it a try for yourself?" you offer, "Stop torturing yourself and everyone else in the Institute."

Giving in, Magnus sighs again and takes a bite of one the burgers. "This is so much better," he concedes, "you can keep the burgers. I'll just use lettuce in place of the buns."

Everybody cheers in response.