The Bright Side of Darkness

Six

"Hey, bud. How was your day?" Dad's voice is groggy as he shifts somewhere in the living room.

I stop in my tracks, one hand on the door handle, halfway into the house. He isn't supposed to be home yet. There's no way I can handle him right now. I don't even want to go to that dumb ass party but now I have to.

Lottie squeezes past me to rush upstairs, leaving me to face our dad on my own. Traitor.

I consider just ignoring him and walking upstairs. Our relationship has been strained since the accident, and him asking me how my day went is odd. Nice, but odd. Plus, it isn't like I have much to say to him. I knew the first day wouldn't be a great one, but Dad and Ma need to hear something else. They need to think it's getting better. Even if it I knew the first day wouldn't be a great one, but Dad and Ma need to hear something else. They need to think it's getting better. Even if it isn't.

"Hi. Not good, but not bad either." I cross the dining room and sit down on the couch beside him. All day, all I got were pitiful reassurances and how much I'm loved. It gets tiring. Not to mention the panic attack. That was especially draining.

No one really knows what it's like to be me. None of them really care. They just want to make themselves feel better about my situation.

Dad sighs and his arm brushes my shoulder as he leans it on the back of the couch. "If your momma asks, tell her it went fine, please. She's been worrying all day. I don't wanna make it worse on her."

I want to ignore his request. To say that she needs to get over it. Because she does. This is our life now, and if I have to get used to it, so does she. But I can't add more stress to Ma's schedule.

"Okay." I sigh as I stand up. "I've gotta get ready for a party. Travis will kill me if I don't show up."

"I'm glad you're making an effort, Tay. It's nice to see you try to move on." Dad sands up as well and hugs me. "If you think you're ready, then I won't stop you. Just try to stay away from alcohol, okay?"

But I'm not ready. I'm not moving on. I'm only going because this will be Emori's first party, and I haven't been there for her in a while. I can't leave her alone for that. Poor girl already had her high school experience ruined by years of bullying. She doesn't need to have it worsened.

I nod to my dad, though I can't promise not to have a drink or two. Then I fumble my way up the steps to my sister's room.

"Lottie," I call as I knock continuously on her bedroom door.

"What?" She yanks the door open, and I knock at empty air.

"I need your help finding something to wear to a party." I put on my best brother-needs-your-help look and hope she won't mind helping.

She claps her hands, making me jump. "I've been waiting for you to ask. Your clothing choice is absolutely deplorable at times."

I scoff and nudge her with my elbow as she pushes past me. "I didn't realize you knew big words like 'deplorable.'"