If Only

Chapter 1

College usually stressed me out with all the reports and submissions which were due almost every day. If I was to function properly, every once in a while I had to get as far away from my books as possible. My usual get-away was this quiet little park near my place. It had this calmness about it and it's the same calmness that caused a chance meet that fateful December evening.

I live in the city of Lahti in Finland. But I've never liked city life. Being born and brought up here doesn't mean I have to like it. Anyway as an individual I always craved, not isolation per se but some time to myself every now and then. So I used to sit on a park bench doodling in my notebook or just alone with my thoughts. I never ever went out of my way to strike up a conversation or make a friend cause after all that was my 'me' time.

So one evening, I'm pretty sure it was December, I don't remember the date exactly cause it wasn't a cosmic phenomenon, that would be automatically imprinted to memory. It was as silly as a guy tripping over his own feet. There I was sitting and minding my own business and I'm sure at the time he was doing the same and the next thing I know, he trips over air (I'm not kidding.... It totally looked like that) and falls flat on his face right in front of me. Now I like to keep to myself but I ain't heartless. So I got up and rushed to his side, worried that the guy might've broken his nose or something but he looked unfazed and got up without my help. Actually he recoiled away from me as if i was a deadly animal. Weird much?

"Dude are you alright?", I had to ask. All I got was a cold and emotionless nod and he was on his way."That's the last time I worry about strangers", I said to no one in particular and went back to my sketching. I was totally concentrated on completing it that when a voice spoke from behind me almost making me scream. "Wow, that's amazing", the low voice came from behind the bench i was sitting on. I was so startled, I almost threw my book to the ground and ran. But instead I just caught it close to my chest, like a shield and jumped up, turning to face the source of the voice. It turned out to be the guy who tripped earlier. He scared the bejeesus out of me and I would totally use my stationery as weapons, if the situation called for it.

"Oh", was all I managed to get out from myself in reply to his compliment. Why would be come back? He seemed indifferent before. Oh god, please tell me he isn't some psycho serial killer! We stared at each other, the awkwardness growing at each passing second. He looked down at his feet and I took that opportunity to scan the area for any other human life to run to for help, if the situation called for it. But he spoke up, in turn breaking the silence, "Sorry if I scared you. I'm not good with people. That's why I walked away when you came to help me. But I'm trying to get over this fear and that's why I came back. Um well... to thank you for your kindness.", he said with a slight smile as he stepped into the light and in front of the bench.

He was tall and wore glasses and a brown overcoat. Everything about his looks screamed psycho kidnapper but his face told a different story. In that fading evening light, I saw a very shy person struggling to overcome his fears and looked like he was fighting an internal battle. His hands were stuffed into his pockets and he looked down at his feet most of the time. His hair was unkempt but that made him look younger. The longer I looked at him, the more I felt at ease. He looked harmless enough. Well I hoped he was harmless.

He looked up at me with a smile before he spoke, "Guess this is the part where I introduce myself. I'm Enzo." "I'm Sia. It's nice to meet you. I really hope you are doing alright.", I smiled back, "That was quite a fall." He blushed, actually blushed. That added to his child-like look. "Yeah but thankfully my pride hasn't taken a hit. Usually it's just the 'forever alones' like myself in this place so I'm not that worried about my clumsiness. That's why I was shocked that you were here", he blushed and scratched the back of his head, "I walk this way sometimes and I've never seen you here." I laughed. This guy wasn't hilarious but he was my kinda funny.... Just plain silly. This was my first mistake.... I gave in to what looked like pure innocence. What I was yet to find out was that looks can sometimes just be what we see. No underlying decoding required.... Just plain simple honesty.