Despite It All

Chapter 31

My cheesy, homemade lasagna bubbles in the oven, aromatic and alluring. Mia lovingly helped me layer the pliable noodles in the dish, a task she took very, very seriously. Propped on the island, my hands slowly guided hers while placing each noodle, ensuring it was straight and even. The look of concentration on her face made her look so much like her dad, and it somehow made me fall even more in love with her. Logan, on the other hand, not-so-slyly took picture after picture of the two of us, insisting he needed 'just one more.' Mia and I huffed as he tried to capture candid photos of us, but secretly, the look of pure adoration on his face brought sheer joy to my aching heart.

My hands are now immersed in soapy suds as I wash dishes, watching with a full heart as Mia bounces on the couch next to Logan—animated by her happiness.

"'Ren, 'Ren, look! Daddy's nails are pink like yours!"

Mia's satisfied giggles fill the air, contagious and endearing. It's been a little over a week since her resection, and even though some days are better than others, it's safe to say that she's generally feeling very much like herself. We're indulging upon her wellness, but mentally preparing for her next and final round of chemotherapy next week—it's definitely a much more difficult medication regimen to endure. After, she'll undergo her harvest and subsequently, her stem cell transplant.

I'm trying not to think about it.

Instead, Logan and I have been soaking up every possible moment with her. We're fortunate in that Ashley and Jack have been extremely generous about sharing Mia with us—even when it's not technically Logan's 'turn'—so we've been able to smother her with all of our love. Although our quality time has been limited to indoor adventures in an attempt to preserve her suppressed immune system—we have had lots of fun crafting, dressing up, and snuggling. Our unicorn onesies were not purchased in vain, and Mia has insisted we wear them more days than not. After two straight days of use, they're now in the wash as a result of a rather unfortunate incident with some spaghetti.

Our photograph hangs proudly on the refrigerator, the three of us adorning bright unicorn horns and even brighter smiles. As my hands scrub ricotta from a serving spoon, I smile to myself as I recall Logan asking Ashley to take our photo, so earnest and sweet. He pulled Mia and I so close to him that we were both practically on his lap, and I'll be honest—we look so frickin' cute.

"'Ren! 'Ren!" Mia persists.

I manage to finish the last few dishes, wiping my hands on a fluffy gray dish towel as I turn to Mia with a smile. "Oh, did you paint his nails?" I ask. I make a mental note to remove the lasagna from the oven in about 15 minutes before I move to join my two favorite people in the living room. I settle on the couch, Mia bouncing between Logan and I.

"Yeah just like you show me to! See!" Mia—who is not-so-gracefully balancing her baby doll in her arms—grabs Logan's hand with a surprising amount of gusto, pulling it into my line of vision. Vibrant, bubblegum-pink polish haphazardly covers Logan's nails and fingers, uneven but thoroughly applied. Logan shares a look with me conveying his dismay, but despite his pursed lips, his eyes sparkle with content.

I grab his hand to examine it, my thumb tracing loving circles atop his hand. "Oh, Mia! They're so pretty! Did your daddy pick this color out himself?" I ask, smiling smugly at Logan.

"Um...yeah! He as pwetty as you now!" She exclaims.

"I don't think so, Mia. You are the most beautiful girl in the whole world," Logan chimes in.

My chest aches. "How about we see if daddy can paint your nails better than I did last time? What do you think?"

"Okay! Yeah! Um you hold baby okay?" Mia quickly thrusts her baby doll in my arms before turning to face Logan, hands out and ready.