All I've Never Imagined

15 ~ ENDLESS THOUGHTS

"I've never had a girlfriend, being serious is out of the equation."

She shakes her head, "You're just like your dad, always chasing girls for all the wrong things."

"I never chased girls Bella. I only chased you and you know it." He winks at mom.

I need to get out of here before they start kissing in front of me.

"And I never chase girls, mom. It's always the other way around." I smirk and get up to leave. "Thanks for the dinner, love you," I say, kissing her cheek before leaving.

"Like father, like son." I hear her mutter behind me.

****

I mindlessly strum a few strings on my guitar as I sit on my king size California bed and think about today.

Not yours Roman, it's her guitar.

Yeah, it's her guitar, not mine. My hand automatically reaches to my neck to touch her pendant that I always wear and only take off when I'm playing.

The door of my room opens with a whoosh and Garret strolls in, whistling. 

Without any permission, he sprawls on my bed beside me and offers me the hot chocolate he is sipping on which no doubt he got from my mom downstairs. 

"There's a thing called knocking." 

"Not in your own house." 

I roll my eyes and put the guitar aside. Garret notices the guitar and looks at me with a sad smile. "You're missing, Ivory?" 

I lay down and look up at the ceiling as a dull ache spreads through my chest. "There isn't a day I don't miss her."

She was the most amazing person in my life and I loved her more than anything in the world, even more than my parents. But what did she do? She left me. I thought she was the strongest person in the world, she could overcome anything. I used to look up to her, she was my motivation, she was my everything. We were a team, but she decided to quit. She failed me, she failed us.

I look at the guitar beside me and then at the picture of us on my desk. I was ten and we were having a blast on the beach when dad clicked that picture. It was our last picture together. My eyes sting, I still miss her so much. There's this black hole in my heart that never goes away. 

Garret takes a loud, annoying sip and speaks, "This is just a way of distracting you from your thoughts but I am kind of curious too. What happened at school today, with Avery?" 

"Are you replacing Dan in the gossip girl series?" I ask dryly.

"Have you ever seen Gossip Girl?"

"No, but I know he was the gossip girl." I roll my eyes and look at the ceiling again.

My thoughts wander back to the night when I saw Avery at the party. She looked so beautiful. My eyes were glued to her face. She seriously looked like an angel. But then I saw her talking to that Jonathon kid and I'm not gonna deny it, I was jealous.

I mean it's not like we've talked to each other besides threatening or pranking each other. But still, I didn't like that some other boy was making a move on her, so I did what any other jealous man would do, I scared Jonathan away.

I saw everything that happened at the party until the point where Angel fainted. I knew it was something bad because Angel is strong and she wouldn't black out like that if it was some simple bullying. Hell, I kinda bullied her on the very first day and she stood up to me, so I knew it was something very serious.