Vent Stories

When Will It End

When will this long, dark, cold, lonely road end.
  Will it end tomorrow night, on the laminate bathroom floor, the bottle of pills a few inches from my hand, with the paper saying goodbye to the ones I cared about and goodridance to those I hated. Will it end with me not knowing who I could have been, with me giving up on trying because trying seems to hard and Im too weak and happiness is too far and everything it too much.
  Or will it end with my friends hugging me on my graduation night, and seeing my love wave at me, and I finally get a chance to be me, to have energy and freedom. with a long fufilling life ahead, and this nightmare just a thing in the past
  Or will it end withthe lights off, in the old mattress in an apartment, my age grabbing me away from life, with me never knowing why I stayed alive when it wasnt worth it and the pain of living was so unbearable but I never stopped it.
  Or will it end right now, with the miricle of a non-existant god, removing the pain and returning my sanity, because thats what seems like is the most possible.
  I just want it to stop, because it hurts. I envy the happiness that others carry around like a medal, because the only thing I have is a rusted coin. The loneliness and anxiety is killing me but the only thing that can finish me off is myself, so why not? Why not do it? Because people will be sad? Will they really? One less person to deal with. Because I may have a bright future? The only bright thing I care about is the light at the end of the tunnel of death.
  When will this end? Will it end with death or happiness, young or old. Is it worth trying?