I'm fine

Chapter 2

Steven stands there in the shower, motionless as he watches the vomit, and seemingly endless amounts of blood wash away down the drain. It was funny, he thought. In some sick twisted way, this whole situation was funny...

It stung.

The water had found its way into every opening in his skin. He did this to himself, so really what did he expect? Sure it was painful, but it was necessary and he was used to the pain at this point.

Before he had got into the shower he'd found some of Pearl's old police tape and was thinking about blocking off the bathroom after he was done in the shower. He just didn't have the time or energy to clean everything up and it was easier to blame it all on some loose corrupted gem that he couldn't heal fast enough than do anything else. It was a mess in here so it was a believable lie he thought. He was shocked the shower was still intact, to be honest.

The next part though is what really got to him.

It was mentally draining having to do this.

He stared down intensely at the mess that was his torn up hand and started murmuring quietly to himself.

"Connie will be here in ten minutes." He vocally reminds himself. He has to hurry up.

He has to do this.

He can't risk her seeing anything. Not one single injury.

It'll ruin everything .

Everything he's worked on, everything he tries so hard to hide... but the worst part of it all? Her... her trust will be betrayed, she'd be hurt- he would be the one causing that hurt for fuck sake!

He never ever ever wants to be the source of her pain.

Never .

He remembers briefly that they made a promise a couple of years ago. The promise being he would talk to her, he would include her in his world, let her know what's wrong or what's bothering him. She promised him the same. The only difference, however, is that only one of them pulled through on that promise and it sure as hell wasn't him. They promised .

And he broke it years ago.

Like it was nothing .

How selfish could he be?

She can't know.

So he has to.

First thing's first his hands were all cut up. Slowly and hesitantly he raises his shaking hand to his mouth, giving himself a few seconds before violently squeezing his eyes shut and licking it quickly and harshly.

All he could see was black, all he could taste was the metallic nature of the blood on his tongue, all he could feel was the texture of the cuts which was pleasant he decided.

But he knew it would all disappear with this single action.

He sighed in a disappointed manner to himself, not allowing himself to open his eyes until he felt ready. Ready to see the freshly untouched skin that was bound to be there. He didn't want to see it- he... he didn't want to.

But he had to.

He took a moment to just feel the sensation of the water falling upon his body. He inhaled and exhaled slowly.

He peeked through his eyelids, barely opening them as he looked down upon his hand.

...

...

...

They... they're still... there? His... his- his cuts they- didn't heal?... w-why didn't it work!?

The first initial shock soon vanished. That feeling changes quickly to panic, panic , panic .

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck- why now!?