I Love You

Chapter 4

After laying on the floor for who knows how long I felt the pain slowly lessen enough for me to try to move. So that's exactly what I tried to do. I slowly tried to roll myself onto my back which I was successful it just hurt like a bitch. I groaned from the pain that was coming off of my back. Dang I hit the wall harder then I thought. I tried moving again but when I twisted the lower part of my back a pain shot up my spine. "Oo okay that hurt.  Let's not do that again." I heard the front door unlocking and my heartrate immediately spiked. They weren't done. When the door opened and showed Katie walking in I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding.  Katie looked around after hearing me breathe out. "Vi why are you on the floor?" She walked over and squatted down next to me. "Well I may or may not have been thrown by my dad across the room. Henceforth why my bag still by the door." I pointed to the door where it was still laying. "My back hit the wall harder then I thought so it hurts to move." I looked up at her and she had a sad look on her face, "They never physically touch you is what you told me?" I shrugged and answered with, "I guess it wasn't the same today. Do you mind helping me to my room? I'm not sure if I can get off the ground myself." She nodded quickly and grabbed my right hand and moved her left to the upper part of my back. She slowly pushed me up and I let out a pained breath. "I'm sorry, you don't deserve this Vi."

I didn't reply and when I fully sat up I used my arms to flip myself over in a pushup position to not move my back. Katie wrapped her arms around my stomach and helped me stand up. "Ughhh jeez this hurts more then I thought. Good thing I don't live in a two story house." I chuckled hoping to lighten up the mood which worked because Katie laughed. "Yeah good thing, I am going to get you an ice pack." I nodded and slowly started walking to my room. Everytime I would step the shooting pain would come back up so I had to stop a few times. When I made it to my room I fast walked and fell onto my bed to get it over with. "Owww." I heard a chuckle come from my door and I looked over seeing Katie holding my backpack and an ice pack. Closing my eyes I smiled and said muffled by my bed sheets, "Don't make fun of me. I wanted to get it over with. You would think by now I would be used to this huh." I didn't hear her say anything but I felt a hand on my lower back which made me tense at the sudden touch. "It's just me. I can't believe we are both at a point that we don't react much to this anymore." She lightly started to rub my back and I sighed at the contact. Gosh she is so caring. "Maybe it's meant to be this way for me. According to my parents I am a piece of shit that has no potential. They are right though." I suddenly felt a cold thing on my lower back and a body laying next to me. I opened my eyes and looked to my left seeing a distressed Katie looking back at me. Reaching out she moved a piece of hair out of my face and cupped my cheek. "You are nothing that your parents say. Don't believe them." Momentarily closing my eyes at the touch I opened them back with a single tear falling. What are you doing, don't break down right now. You have to be strong.

I closed my eyes back and turned my head to the right. "Vi hey look at me." She put her hand on my shoulder blade to get my attention. I shook my head and tears started falling at a faster pace. Screw my back hurting I could of left by now. I don't deserve her all I bring is pain and grief. Let her go and move on. Even the thought of losing Katie in any way made my chest hurt. Stop it is for the best. She doesn't need my pain in her life. I felt her move her hand down to mine to intertwine our fingers and softly rub her thumb over the back of my hand. I pushed the pain of my back away and stood up getting off my bed. "Vi stop you're going to hurt yourself." I started grabbing my stuff to leave but Katie ran in front of me stopping me. My back felt better because of the ice so I knew it was going to be better by tomorrow.  Katie put her hands on my shoulders stopping me from continuing to walk. "Vi stop, please." I could hear her voice crack but I couldn't bring myself to look at her face. "Look at me." I continued to look at the ground. "Please look at me." Slowly I met her eyes and all I could see was concern. "I know what you are thinking but please don't believe them. I know your worth and you need to know yours too. The right worth." She pulled me into a tight hug with her arms around my neck and her face by my ear. "People love you Violet. I love you, you just need to believe it too."

I gave into her and wrapped my arms around her waist and buried my face into her neck.  Katie started whispering good things into my ear while I continued to cry against her neck. My grip tightened on her and she started walking us back to my bed. I didn't fight if anything I dropped my stuff onto the floor and let myself fall onto my bed with her on top of me. My back shot up a pain again but I ignored it holding onto Katie harder.  Katie quietly whispered to me, "You have to believe you are more then what you let yourself be.  If not for yourself do it for me please."  Eventually I had stopped crying and the exhaustion from the day and crying hit like a wave.  My grip on her loosened and she seemed to notice.  "You can sleep I will be right here when you wake up."  She started to run a hand through my hair while I kept my face in her neck.  Let out a deep breath and felt goosebumps appear on her skin.  Maybe she feels the same way.  That was the last thought that ran through my head before sleep overtook me.