Swan Song

Chapter Sixteen

Yay! Double update! 

I actually love love LOVE this chapter! It's one of the few that even the crowd can't find fault with!

Crowd: AHH! You're right! It's actually decent! AHHH!

Okay, it probably does have flaws, but I like it!

What was the socially acceptable thing to do when one of your best friends (kind of) confessed his love for you, and you think you might like him back but you also have lingering feelings for your ex AKA his best friend? That's a good question. Sophie's opinion was that there was no right answer. So what wrong answer did Sophie choose? Easy. She gave Keefe one last squeeze, said "Glad you're okay," and ran. Obvious choice.

What else could she do to make this even "better?" Oh, that's also easy! Hide the crazy situation from everyone else (especially Biana and Marella!) and avoid Keefe like the plague. For weeks. Only speak to him when absolutely necessary. Pretend everything was "fine." And meanwhile, try her best to decide between Fitz and Keefe. That part really wasn't working. Some days she knew she wanted her EBWSATBJFWBMSLSNS back, but others she decided Keefe was the obvious choice. Her head emotions were confused, and when she tried to pay attention to her heart emotions things got even crazier! By now she was no longer oblivious to the frequently referenced "triangle," but she was clueless about her own feelings. And that was almost worse.

After a few days of The Great Foster Evasion (as Keefe had very Keefe-ly nicknamed it), Keefe started hailing her. She ignored her imparter whenever it buzzed. Then he started coming to Havenfield. As per Sophie's request, Edaline turned him away gently and Grady told him to "get lost" with great enthusiasm. Whenever he tried to corner her at Foxfire, Sophie would make an excuse and run for it. The Great Foster Evasion was, so far, a success.

Two weeks after The Incident (no, not the gulon type), Edaline let him in the house. Probably out of pity, and Sophie suspected Edaline's omniscient mom-powers knew what was going on. Whatever the reason, Keefe was now in her house. Coming up her stairs. Entering her bedroom. Sitting beside her on her bed. Placing his hand on her knee and looking at her, hurt in his gorgeous ice-blue eyes- wait, gorgeous!? What? Focus, Sophie!

"Foster... what's been up with you lately? Ever since I got my memory back, you've been avoiding me like crazy. I thought for sure you'd be overjoyed that I'm back, and my Empath skills are almost never wrong." Keefe tried to smirk at the joke, but the sadness didn't leave his voice... or his ice blue eyes. "I kinda miss you, you know?"

Sophie's mind was in panic mode. Like, alarms-blaring, light-flashing, full-on panic mode. But what Keefe said was true. It really wasn't fair to Keefe to keep avoiding him...

Especially now that she knew he liked her.

Just like that, the panic increased.

"Foster?" said Keefe. That alerted her to the fact that he was an Empath. He knew she was panicking. And... he knew that she was no longer oblivious to his crush. Probably also... the fact that she might like him back. Oh, and that she liked Fitz. Truly, her emotions were a mess. Sophie pitied the Empath... after all, he didn't ask for her crazy emotions to be flying at him all the time. Especially now, when they were not only overwhelming to her but to him as well.

"I... um... you..."

Keefe groaned. Running a hand through his disheveled blond hair (which somehow made it even more attractive- ugh! Stop thinking that, Sophie!), he said to her "I guess... the Great Foster Oblivion is over."

A small squeaking noise that was probably supposed to resemble a "yes" escaped Sophie's mouth. She cleared her throat. "I, um, yes. No longer oblivious." Her eyelashes itched really, really badly. It was impossible to resist pulling them out. Again and again and again.

Keefe opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. Rarely had Sophie seen him at loss for words like this. Eventually, he said "So, um... I take it that you don't like me back." Eyes focused on the floor, he ran his fingers through his hair again and muttered in the quietest, most heartbreaking voice ever "It's okay if you go back to Wonderboy instead. Not really surprising. Really, he's the obvious choice. Anyone would make the same decision. It's okay. Okay?"

"It's... I... I don't know who to choose." Sophie almost whispered, eyelashes going quickly. However awkward and terrifying it was to confess a crush, it was a million times worse admitting "Oh yeah, I kinda like you. Except I also kinda like your best friend."

"So... you like us both?" The words came out slowly, as if Keefe didn't believe them. It was broke Sophie's heart as she realized that for all his arrogant jokes and confident facade, Keefe really couldn't believe that anyone could actually like him, not after they'd seen the broken boy inside. Knowing this, Sophie wanted to give him a hug and assure him that he was definitely deserving of her love... but she still couldn't make up her mind.

"You're the Empath. You tell me."

Keefe gently took Sophie's hand away from her eyelid and held it. "Your heart is... very very confused."

Sophie took her hand out of his and back to removing her eyelashes. "So is my head."

Keefe nodded slowly. Again, he seemed at loss for words. Finally, he looked Sophie straight in the eyes and took both of her hands in his. "I'll wait, Sophie, okay? I'll wait for you to make your decision no matter how long it takes." Giving her the saddest smile in the history of sad smiles, he added "And if you choose Fitz... I'll just have to live with that." Swallowing hard, Keefe squeezed Sophie's hands tighter and said "All I want is for you to be happy, okay? That is the. Most. Important. Thing. And if you decide to be happy with me... I'd be overjoyed. But if not, as long as you're happy, I'm happy. Whoever you choose, I'll respect your decision. Because your happiness is so much more important than mine."

Sophie's heart melted and shattered at the same time. There seemed to be no right way to respond to that, so Sophie just wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. Keefe gave her a quick squeeze before letting go.

"Can we- can we still be friends?" Keefe asked softly. Even if it weren't for the pleading look in his eyes, Sophie would've said yes.

Keefe gave her another smile. This one was sad too- but also a little happy. "Praise all things sparkly for that."

"Of course."

With nothing left to say, Keefe got up from where he was sitting on Sophie's bed and started to make his way towards the door. It was half open when Sophie managed to find her voice again and say "Keefe, I'm really sorry."

With no hint of sarcasm or resentment in his voice, Keefe answered "It's okay, Foster. Really. I know that you can't decide your feelings. Trust the Empath on this." A half smile reappeared on his lips. "It's okay, Sophie."

"Okay." Sophie whispered.

"Okay." Keefe repeated. Before Sophie could say something back, Keefe was gone, gently closing the door behind him.

"So, how'd things go with your girl?" Ro's loud, excited voice demanded from outside Sophie's door.

Sophie picked Ella up from on her bed and squeezed tightly as Keefe's breaking voice said "She's not my girl."

*Inhales*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Okay. Okay. I'm okay now.

Why do I do this to myself?

Anyway...

My school closed for two (plus) weeks because of the coronavirus, so that's great. Maybe it means more updates though!

Ugggggghhhhhhhhhhh I just realized I have to start writing these again. *Sigh.* It was so great just posting the prewritten chapters. Ugh.

Anyway, please vote and comment! --->