{DENIAL}

• six •

Lizzo woke up to her best friend, Alexia, making coffee in the kitchen. "Bitch, you look like you slept well. I've just been standing here, unable to process the fact that you're meeting Chris Brown soon."

"I know. We've come a long way from high school days." She laughed as she took her hair down from its messy bun, "My life is just so unbelievable sometimes. I haven't gotten used to it yet."

While pouring coffee for the two of them, Alexia said, "Um, speaking of high school...have you heard from Terrence? That nigga hasn't hit me up in a while."

Lizzo scoffed in reply, shaking her head. She reached for her cup of coffee, but Alexia stopped her.

"Nuh uh, you ain't gettin' shit until you explain yourself. What kinda reaction is that? I'm genuinely asking."

She shrugged her shoulders, "I was about to ask you the same thing, is all. He hasn't contacted me either." She sighed, "Can I have my coffee now?"

Alexia slid the cup across the table, the hot liquid slightly dripping off the rim. "Do you know if he's talked to your mom? Maybe I can ask her."

"No." Lizzo replied a little too quick, with a sternness in her voice. She cleared her throat, "I mean, you know how she feels about him and I. I don't want her trying to get in on operation Terrissa."

Her best friend couldn't help but laugh, "Oh my God, why hasn't that ship name ever come up? Does he know about it? Man, I'mma hit him up right now." She went to grab her phone, but Lizzo put her hands on top of it.

"Lexo, don't."

"Is there something you aren't telling me?" Alexia released her phone and crossed her arms, staring down her best friend.

Lizzo exhaled in defeat, "Okay, fine. I saw him at that little family get-together I told you about."

"Keep going. I know there's a reason you lied to me at first. Spill, bitch."

"He confessed his feelings for me and then, well..." she looked up at Alexia for a split second, then looked back down, "He, uh...he may or may not have kissed me."

Lexo, who was grinning from ear to ear, forcefully pushed her, "Melissa Viviane Jefferson! Are you saying that we can forget about Dave? You fuckin' with a real one this time! Ooooh, shit! My baby done growed up I see." Alexia stopped teasing when she noticed Lizzo's somber look, "Wait, what's wrong?"

She looked down at the floor, "He doesn't understand that it's best for us to stay friends. And only friends."

"Oh, God. You love him don't you?"

Lizzo frowned, "No, I never said that."

"You didn't have to say it." Alexia took in a deep breath, "Think about it. It's not hard to dismiss someone if you don't have love for them. But if you do, it's hard because you're fighting that innate love you have."

"No, it's hard because I don't want to fuck up our friendship. I'm scared that our relationship won't be the same. I told him that and he just isn't getting it. He won't fucking stop."

Lexo massaged her temples, "Why do you do this to yourself?"

"Do what?"