{DENIAL}

• five •

Lizzo stood there, stunned. She turned to the rest of her family, relieved that they had stopped paying attention to her and Terrence. She huffed, grabbing his hand and shoving him back into the guest room.

"What the fuck? Why would you do that?" She pushed him as hard as she could, but barely moved him.

He put his hands up, surrendering, "Woah, why are you so upset? I just proved to you that we can actually do this...be together."

"UGH! What are you not understanding? I don't want to be with you! What did you think trapping me into dating you would actually work?!?! Now they expect us to be together! Hope your fucking ready for their disappointment."

Terrence grabbed her hands gently and whispered, "Just give me a chance. You deserve someone who will treat you with respect and I want to be that someone. Please."

She pushed him away from her again, this time knocking him back a bit. "What you did just now was not respectful. And stop being so fucking nice."

"Is that not what you want? I don't understand what the problem is here. You're pushing me away and I just want to love you."

"I'm not deserving of your love! Okay?" She sighed, crossing her arms and avoiding his eyes.

He approached her again and placed his hand on her cheek, caressing it. "Hey, what's that supposed to mean? Of course you deserve love. What's gotten into that brain of yours?"

"I can't do this." Tears began rolling down her cheeks and Terrence didn't hesitate to wipe them.

"Please tell me what's got you feeling this way. I want to help."

Lizzo shook her head and slapped his chest out of misplaced anger, "No, you can't help!"

For a moment, they stood there in complete silence, avoiding each other's eyes.

"Just tell me what your problem really is. The truth." Terrence whispered, still choosing not to look at her.

She sighed in defeat, "Aren't you still in the military? I don't want to fall in love with you just to see you go off to another country with the possibility of never coming back. There. Now you know."

"I'm always careful and I doubt I'll be taken in any time soon."

"What do you mean you're always careful? You think the soldiers who are dead and gone weren't careful? You could be the most cautious soldier out there, that doesn't stop you from getting hurt." Her eyes continued to water, a tear falling every now and then.

Terrence didn't have anything to say back to her, so he rubbed the back of his neck and walked out of the room, leaving her behind.

She took in a deep breath and sat on the guest bed her mom had just bought a new comforter for. It was so comfortable she ended up sprawled on the bed, staring up at the blank ceiling. Thoughts about Terrence circled her mind. Then Dave. One man she felt as if they were twin flames, the other being just a life lesson.

"Hey baby, you in here?" Shari called from outside the room.

Lizzo sniffed and wiped her face frantically, not wanting her mom to notice she'd been crying. "Oh, yes mama! I'll be right out!"

"Is it okay if I come in? I need to talk to you about somethin'."

"Yes, come on in." As her mom walked in she smiled, "I just haven't been able to get off this bed. The sheets are so nice."

"Well, how about you stay the night here? We need to catch up anyway. You've been so busy lately. You know your mama misses you." Shari grinned, laying right beside her daughter.