{DENIAL}

• three •

Lizzo heard her door creak as it opened, but didn't bother to turn towards the noise. She remained in her bundled up ball of blankets, shielding herself from her surroundings.

"Oh, I was right." Jemel spoke quietly, as he sat down towards the end of the bed, "You aren't doing well at all."

No response.

"Are you even awake?"

No response.

"Lizzo."

No response.

At this point, he turned to extreme measures. He pulled the blankets off of her as fast as possible and began tugging at her arm. She groaned and sat up with a defeated look on her face.

Jemel noticed her button nose was slightly pink, her eyes that were typically vibrant had become dull, and her mascara from the night before had left black streaks below her eyes.

"Oh no. Please tell me what happened."

Lizzo exhaled loudly, wanting to just cry herself to death. She didn't see a reason to be on Earth anymore. Everything that meant the world to her had been taken away. What was the point of living when you didn't have the things that encouraged you to keep living in the first place?

She continued to be emotionally cut-off, "It's my fault that I feel this way, so there's nothing you can do."

"I'm not buying that. You need someone." He replied, instantly.

"I need my dad."

Jemel was taken aback, unable to immediately reply to her. He understood how much her dad's loss impacted her, but he couldn't imagine being in her shoes.

After realizing he had no words to make her feel better, he wrapped his arms around her body. He squeezed her firmly, attempting to show her all the love and support she needed. As soon as he embraced her, Lizzo accepted his hug and burst into tears. The emotional pain she felt was exhausting and she couldn't do anything but cry.

He rubbed her back, shushing her comfortingly. "It'll be okay, I promise you. I know you miss him," he released her and caressed her cheek, "but he wouldn't want to see you like this. He'd want you to get back on your feet and power-through. I know you're capable. He knows you're capable. You know you're capable."

She nodded and laughed, "You're right. I gotta get my shit together."

"It's okay to mourn though. It's a long process, and you're still grieving. Allow yourself to be emotionally honest and vulnerable sometimes. Just so you can let it all out, okay?"

He pushed a piece of her hair back, pulling it behind her ear. He had feelings for her, and hoped she felt the same way. Question was: should he take the chance?

He chose to wait until he knew for a fact that she felt the same. He didn't want to force anything if it wasn't meant to be. It'll happen if it's supposed to, was his mentality.

Lizzo smiled, meeting Jemel's eyes. "I really appreciate you. You didn't have to waste your time to come see me, but you did anyway."

"Well, I care about you." He placed the back of his hand on her knee, inviting her to interlock her fingers with his.

~~~

Lizzo went backstage, meeting Jemel, Shelby, Marko, Alex, and all of her dancers. Courtney had been giving her the cold shoulder since what happened in the dressing room, and she didn't know what to do about it. Everybody else didn't seem to notice though.

"Listen up guys!" Lizzo cleared her throat, "We had a beautiful show tonight. We changed people's lives, inspired them, and taught them how to self-love. I know that's what we do every night but I'm just so proud of us. Let's celebrate bitches!!"