YOU 1 [Charli D'Amelio]

Chapter 66.

When I wake up it takes me a moment to remember that I am not in bed with Max. The sun is shining through the bay window and I sit up quickly. As my eyes adjust I am convinced that I am going mad.

"Maxxy?" I say quietly and wipe my eyes again.

"Hey." She says back. She really is here.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I snap. My heart aches already. She is sitting in the chair with her elbows on her knees.

"Charli, we need to talk." She says, the bags under her eyes prominent.

"Have you just been watching me sleep?" I ask.

"No, of course not. I just came in here a few minutes ago." She says. I wonder if she had nightmares without me in bed with her. If I hadn't witnessed them myself I would think those were part of her games as well, but I remember holding her sweaty face between my hands and seeing the fear in her eyes.

I stay silent. I don't want to fight with her. I just want her to go away. I hate that I don't actually want her to go away, but she has to.

"Can we talk?" She repeats and I shake my head. She runs both hands through her hair and takes a deep breath.

"I have to go to class." I tell her.

"Liam already left, I turned your alarm off. It's eleven already."

"You what!"

"You were up late and I thought you.." She begins.

"How dare you even.. just go." I am beyond angry that she would turn off my alarm, she knows how I am about missing classes, but the pain from her actions yesterday is still fresh and it overshadows the anger from her turning off my alarm but I can't show any weakness or she will pounce on it. She always does.

"You're in my room." She points out. I climb out of the bed, not caring if I am only in a t-shirt, her t-shsirt.

"You're right, I will go." I say, the lump in my throat is growing and the tears are threatening behind my eyes.

"No, I meant.. I meant you are in my room.. Why?" Her voice bleak.

"I don't know.. I just.. I couldn't sleep.." I admit. I need to stop talking. "It's not really your room anyway, I have slept here just as many times as you have. Actually more now." I point out.

"Your shirt didn't fit?" She asks, her eyes focused on the white shirt. Of course she is making fun of me.

"Go ahead, tease me." I say, the tears pooling at the bottom of my eyes.

She makes eye contact with me but I look away.

"I wasn't teasing you." She stands up from the chair and takes a step towards me. I back away and raise my hands to block her. "Just hear me out, okay?"

"What else could you possibly have to say, we always do this. We have the same fight over and over, only worse each time. I can't do it anymore. I can't." I breathe.

"I said I was sorry for kissing her." She defends.

"That isn't what this is about, well that's part of it but there is so much more. The fact that you don't get that proves that we are wasting our time. You will never be who I need you to be, and I am not who you want me to be." I wipe my eyes as she looks out the window.

"You are who I want you to be." She says.

I wish I could believe her, I wish she wasn't so incapable of feelings.

"You're not." Is all I can say. I know she is aware that I am crying but I can't seem to stop myself. I have cried so many times since I met her and if I get tangled back into her web, this is how it will always be.