YOU 1 [Charli D'Amelio]

Chapter 38.

I am hot, too hot. I try to pull the covers off of me, but they won't budge. When my eyes open, the night before comes flooding into my mind. Max screaming at me in the yard, the scotch on her breath, the broken glass in the kitchen, Max kissing me, Max moaning as I touched her, her wet boxers. I try to lift up but she is too heavy. I am surprised by her head laying across my chest and the way her arm is wrapped around my waist, her body cloaking mine. She must have moved this way in her sleep. I do admit, I don't want to leave this bed, leave Max, but I have to. I have to get back to my room, Chase is there. Chase. Chase. I gently push Max off by her shoulder, rolling her onto her back. I silently pray that she is a heavy sleeper, she rolls onto her stomach and groans but doesn't wake.

I hurry to my feet and grab my scattered clothes off of the floor. Being the coward that I am , I want to be out of here by the time she wakes. I don't think she will mind though, at least she won't have to invest her energy into hurting me on purpose so I will leave on my own. This way is better for both of us, regardless of the way we laughed together last night, nothing is the same in the light of day. Max will remember how we got along pretty well last night and she will feel the need to be extra hateful to make up for it. It is what she does., and I will not be around this time.

I will be where I belong, away from her. For a second last night, the thought crossed my mind that maybe the night would change Max's mind, make her want to have more with me, but I know better by now. I fold her t-shirt neatly onto the dresser and zip my skirt, my shirt is wrinkled from laying on the floor last night, but that is the least of my worries at the moment. I slip my feet into my shoes and grab ahold of the door handle.

One more look back won't hurt, I convince myself and look back to a sleeping Max. Her messy hair is sprawled onto the pillow, and her arm is now draped over the side of the bed. She looks so peaceful, so beautiful.

I turn back around and turn the door handle.

"Charl?" My heart drops. I slowly turn back around to her, expecting to see her harsh eyes staring back at me. Instead, they are closed, a frown is set on her face, but she is still asleep. I can't decide if I am relieved that she is asleep or somber that she called out my name in her sleep. I walk out of the room and gently close the door behind me. I have no idea how to get out of this house, I walk straight down the hall and I am relieved to find the stairs easily. I pad down the stairs and nearly run into Liam. My pulse quickens as I try to think of something to say. His eyes scan my face and he stays silent, waiting for an explanation I assume.

"Liam.. I.." I have no idea what to say.

"Are you okay?" He asks with concern.

"Yea, I am fine. I know you must think.."

"I don't think anything, I really do appreciate you coming. I know you don't like Max and it means a lot to me that you would come here to help get her in control" Liam tells me.

Oh. He is so nice, too nice. I almost want him to tell me how disgusted he is that I stayed the night with Max, that I left my boyfriend alone in my room all night after I took his car and ran to Max's rescue, just so I feel as bad as I should.

"So are you and Max friends again?" He asks and I shrug.

"I have no idea what we are. I have no idea what I am doing. She just.. " I break into sobs. Liam wraps his arms around me in a warm and comforting hug.

"It's okay, I know she can be so terrible" Liam says softly. Wait.. he must think that I am crying because Max did something terrible to me. He would probably never assume that I am crying because of my feelings for Max.

"It's not that Liam.." I sob. I need to get out of here before I ruin Liam's good opinion of me and before Max wakes up.

"I have to go, Chase is waiting" I say and Liam gives me a sympathetic smile before saying goodbye. I get into Chase's car and drive back to my dorm as fast as I can. I cry most of the way there, how will I explain this all to Chase? I know I have to , I can't lie to him. I just can't imagine how much this will hurt him. I am a terrible person for doing this to him, why couldn't I just stay away from Max?

I have calmed myself as much as I can before I pull into the parking lot. I walk as slow as I can to my room, I don't know how I am going to face Chase. When I open the door, Chase is laying back on my small bed staring at the ceiling. He jumps up when I say his name.

"Jesus Charli! Where have you been all night? I've been calling you non stop!" He shouts. This is the first time Chase has ever actually raised his voice at me. We have bickered before but he hasn't ever yelled at me.

"I am so sorry, I went to Liam's house because Max was drunk and she was breaking things, and the time just got lost I guess and by the time we cleaned up, it was so late and my phone was dead" I lie. I can't believe I am lying straight to his face, all the times he has been here for me and here I am lying to him. I know I should tell him but I can't imagine hurting him.

"Max was breaking stuff? Are you okay? Why did you stay there if she was being violent?" I feel like he is asking me a thousand questions at once.

"She wasn't being violent, she was just drunk, she wouldn't hurt me" I say and cover my mouth, desperately trying to push the words back in.

"What do you mean she wouldn't hurt you? You don't even know her Charli." He snaps and walks towards me.

"I am just saying that she wouldn't hurt me like psychically, I know her well enough to know that. I was just trying to help Liam" I say. Max would hurt me emotionally, she already has and I am sure she will try again. It's ironic that I am defending her right now and she isn't here.

"I thought you were going to stop hanging around those type of people? Didn't you promise me and your mom that you would? Charli, they aren't good people for you to be around. You've started drinking and staying out all night and you left me here all night. I don't know why you even had me come here if you were just going to leave" He sits down on the bed and rests his head on his hands.

"They aren't bad people, you don't know them. When did you become so judgmental?" I ask him. I should be begging for him to forgive me for staying out all night but I am irritated by the way he is talking about my friends. Mostly Mqx, my subconscious reminds me and I want to slap her.

"I am not judgmental but you would have never hung out with those gothic people before"

"They aren't gothic, they are themselves. They don't care to be like us, that doesn't make them any different from us" I say. I am as surprised by my words as Chase is.

"Well, I don't like you hanging out with them, they are changing you. You aren't the same Person that I fell in love with" his voice isn't malicious at all, just sad.

"Well Chase.." I begin and the door flies open. My eyes follow Chase's  to an angry Max storming into the room.