[Completed] [Rewritten]
It was uncharacteristic of Jin, but nowadays, he found himself to be more tired after practice. He was known as one of the most athletic members of the group and now, he felt himself struggling to do a few push-ups. He got ou...
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Sometimes, all he could do was gaze out of the window and think. His mind was clearer now, he could have concrete thoughts again. Jin thought a lot about what he was going to do when he was finally out of the hospital. This had been his longest stay yet, nearly two weeks, and he still wasn't completely better. His doctor had said that he wouldn't be released until he was sure that Jin was absolutely fine.
He was making improvements everyday. His pulse was starting to get back to normal parameters. It wouldn't speed up randomly and make him get dizzy and winded.
Jin hoped that he had started gaining a bit of weight though, because he hated feeling so fragile.
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"It's okay, just try."
Jin nodded. At the back of his mind, he wished Yoongi wasn't there. But he tried to ignore the feeling.
He slowly pulled himself up, using the side of the bed as support. His legs felt wobbly. They hadn't been used in a while. Jin gripped tightly onto the bed. The nurse smiled at him gently.
"How do you feel?"
"Tired."
"Mmhm," she said, her smile falling a bit. "Why don't you try to take a few steps?"
He nodded. He lifted one foot off the ground, figuring the other one would be strong enough to hold himself up. Jin didn't have time to understand that he had overestimated himself, before the nurse had grabbed his shoulders and helped him onto the bed again. He nearly teared up.
He was so exhausted.
"It's okay. You just have to get a bit stronger."
He nodded.
"It's okay hyung," Yoongi chimed in. His eyes were wide though, and he seemed shaken. It must be scary to see a close friend like this, Jin realized.
"Until you can make it from the bed to the bathroom on your own, you're going to have to stay here," the nurse said.
Jin sagged in his bed. Oh, that would take a while. Who knows when he would be able to do that? He feared that he would never regain his strength. At that moment, it looked like Yoongi was more put-together than he was.
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The best day though was when he realized his appetite was coming back. Before, he could barely get a few mouthfuls down before he felt like he was going to throw up. But slowly, that feeling was starting to go away. He could eat full-length meals again.
The food tasted absolutely disgusting though. He was convinced that either people here didn't how to cook or his taste buds were completely fucked.
Still, the more he ate and could keep down, the better he felt. His mind felt clearer, his stomach didn't hurt quite so much. Once in a while, the doctors would come in and make sure he was improving. His levels were doing better. Things were returning back to normal slowly.
Now if only he got some of his strength back. That would be lovely.
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"Slowly."
Jin staggered up. Slowly, just like the nurse said. His knees felt weak. He grabbed onto the side of the bed to support himself. It felt like it had been years since he had last stood up, even though it had been just a few days.
He took a few steps carefully. He couldn't wait until he could sit down again.
Again, he collapsed. Taehyung grabbed him before he could fall and hurt himself. Jin sighed heavily.
"It's okay."
For the first time since everything started, he felt a strong surge of frustration go through him. He couldn't do anything, it seemed. He was constantly falling behind while going through this. He fought hard to not let it show on his face.
But Taehyung still understood.
He waited until the nurse nodded and left the room, before he turned towards Jin.
"It's okay to take your time, hyung," Taehyung said. "Don't beat yourself up for not being able to do things right away."
Jin huffed. He glared down at his hands. He knew Taehyung meant well, but he only got more irritated. It took all his strength to not lash out and say something that he would regret.
Taehyung fell silent.
After a long time, Jin managed to look up and nod.
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Despite all his negative feelings, Jin gradually did get stronger. Three weeks after his initial collapse, he was strong enough to not require support to walk.
Now it was back to the beginning.
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this is old, please don't get worried lmao:
K imma like rant rn but . . . Have you ever been somewhere and felt like you don't belong? And everyone thinks you're like annoying and nobody really wants you there? You're there but like you're an extra decoration. Like I feel like that a lot at school. But if anyone sees me getting quieter or something, then they like automatically assume I'm having a mood swing or being angry. You know when you're in a friend group but you're not really in it? And everyone makes fun of you as much as they like? As much as I laugh about the stuff they say, I don't really want to. People say I'm too sensitive and I guess I am but man it hurts . . . I can't really talk to anyone irl about it because otherwise I'm sent to some stupid counselor who doesn't do shit.
