Magic in Madness

Chapter 1

***Chapter art (the Touched) by ??? (I found it on Pinterest but it links to an amazon ad--if you know the artist, let me know below in the comments)

Chapter 1

Solariann

It took Solariann eighteen years to realize her mind was the enemy.

Hunched over a claw footed tub, she scrubbed a particularly stubborn patch of mildew until her arm and back ached. She crouched in the privy of her parent's house, the floorboards and walls expensive wood exported from the jungles of Ash'Kana. While she worked, her mind told her things that could only exist in a different version of reality than the one in which she lived.

You will be grand, it said. You will be a Rider. You will be Gra. You will be Queen! It never told her this through words. It told her this through conviction that felt like her own yet wasn't. In her mind, she genuinely believed these things to be true, yet a fragmented part of her—the sane part—realized it was not realistic.

Clenching her jaw, Solariann worked even harder, auburn hair sliding out of its braid and sticking to her sweaty face, like she could scrub away her madness the same way she scrubbed mildew from the copper tub. Greslinn hated the Riders and forbade her to become one of them, but becoming Gra and Queen-Consort? Impossible. First and foremost, she had no desire to be Gra or Queen. She had no interest in taking on the kind of responsibility that meant her decisions would affect tens of thousands of lives; she had a hard enough time taking care of herself with her failing sanity.

Besides, Dragon King Fionn hadn't taken another bride since his Queen had disappeared nearly two decades ago. Rumors claimed the Bolstyans had kidnapped her, while others said she'd run off with a scandalous lover. With a sigh, Solariann sat back and scrubbed a forearm across her forehead, eyes closed. She told herself she would never become a Rider, never become Gra, never become Queen. Yet her traitorous mind rebelled, convincing her otherwise. She struggled with herself, crouched there in the privy, a pale, unmoving statue. It was terrifying to know she couldn't trust her own mind.

"Solariann."

Startled, Solariann tried to jump to her feet only to stagger sideways and crash into the tub with a hiss of pain. Her knees had locked up from being crouched for so long, the muscles aching, and one of her feet had fallen asleep. Her aankor, the white Terrier with floppy ears and a banner for a tail who'd been lying on the floor watching her, jumped to his feet and scurried away from the tub, tremors rippling through him.

"Sorry, Benny," said Solariann. With a grimace, she shook out her foot until blood rushed back into it and little pins and needles pricked her skin.

"Solariann," came the voice again, a shrill soprano, "if you don't hurry, you'll be late for Chromatic University classes. Have you finished in the bathroom?"

"Coming," shouted Solariann. Hobbling on her tingling foot, she bent to scoop Benny into her arms. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," she cooed. "I didn't mean to frighten you." She stroked his coarse, slightly curly fur. He curled against her chest and burrowed his face in her shoulder, his wet snout tickling her neck. A sense of comfort washed over Solariann the longer she held him, battling against the insanity clawing at the edges of her mind. Thus was the bond of an aankor. Sighing, she closed her eyes and hugged him tight, her own arms trembling.

"Solariann!" This time, the shout was accompanied by the thud of approaching footsteps.

Planting a kiss on his little head, Solariann set Benny on the ground and gathered her cleaning supplies into a bucket. With the bucket under one arm, she slowly unlaced her braid and strode from the bathroom.