A new life Female Creepypastas x male scarred reader

A battle!

Y/N: ZALGAAAAAA!
Zalga: shit.
Y/N: YOU BIIIIIIITCH!
You charge at Zalga, thousands of mini blasters behind you, you grab a scythe and slash at her, cutting off a fingernail.
Zalga: fuck you!
Y/N: oh my. At least take me out to dinner first~.
Zalga: fucking smartass.
Y/N: thank you, my ass is quite smart. Hmm, what to use, sword, gun, tough choice, I'll go with dictionary.
You pull a dictionary seemingly out of nowhere and you throw it at Zalga, smacking her in the cranium for 69 damage.
Author-Chan: Nice.
Y/N: yo Author-Chan, why 69?
Author-Chan: memes.
Zalga: the fuck? The fuck are memes?
A boxing glove comes out of nowhere and punches Zalga in the vagina with such force she flew 2 feet in the air.
Author-Chan: YOU UNCULTURED SWINE!
With Zalga on the ground, you run up to her and pick her up.
Y/N: YEETUS THE FEETUS!
You yeet Zalga across the corridor, sending her through the fragile wooden wall. She emerges with cuts all over her body.
Y/N: leave.
Without saying anything, Zalga appears behind you and punches you in the back of the head, knocking you out. Zalga then Fortnite default dances in victory, the same boxing glove hits her in the same spot again.
Author-Chan: NO!
Zalga, high pitched: yep, got it.
Zalga collapses onto the floor, Slenda picks her up and throws her away.
Slenda: Ann, fix him up.
Ann: yep.
(Time skip brought to you by a Chibi Ann having a shower with a Chibi Y/N.)
Y/N: I don't want the oatmeal raisin cookie mom.
Ann: what?
Y/N: what?
Ann: something about not wanting an oatmeal raisin cookie.
Y/N: did I say that?
Ann: you did.
Y/N: weird.
Sorry this ones short