Just Love

Energy

Skylar

The last few days had been enjoyable. Me and my mother went shopping. Ceasar and I had epic lunches. I spent the last couple of nights getting drunk, and watching movies with Shawna. I had been truly enjoying my time home.

But today, I was full of energy. Nervous energy. It was almost as if I had forgotten something, but there was nothing to forget. Anxiousness took over my body at 2 am. I jolted awake from a dream I couldn't remember. I tossed and turned trying to get myself comfortable enough to go back to sleep. That's when I decided to go for a longer run.

I normally run 4 miles at around 6am, so I left at 4 am and added another 3 miles. I returned home around 5:20am, sweaty but not tired. I did another 30 minutes of calisthenics just for good measure, but anxiousness crept it's way all over my body and I found myself even more energized. I showered and fixed myself some breakfast. Thinking maybe it would calm me down, but I found myself antsy so I went to my mother's house.

She had asked me to come over, and put some furniture she'd ordered together. It was still very early so I decided to grab a quick breakfast for my Mom. Fourty minutes later I was knocking at her door.

My Mom opened the door with a huge smile. "Well this is a nice surprise."

"I also brought breakfast." She pulled me into a hug.

"I knew I bragged on you for a reason. Now if I could only get you to stop running off with the Army." She said taking the bag and sitting in her favorite chair in the living room.

My Mother hated that I was in the Army. She literally did everything she could to keep me out of the armed forces, but I couldn't blame her. My Father had made her a widow before I was born by "running off with the Air Force". To this day she can't talk about it without crying. She once told me that whenever I get called to duty, she just envisions receiving the American flag.

"Well you'll be happy to know Ceasar and I are applying for stateside officer positions." I said petulantly.

"Good! Maybe now I can get some grandchildren." A huge smile had adorned her face.

"You're a long way from grandchildren lady." I said with a chuckle.

"I don't think I'm as far away as you make it seem" My Mom said with a cheeky smile.

"Nice to know you've adopted optimism in your old age."

Shocked, my Mom placed a hand and on her chest. Clutching at pearls that weren't there. "Old age! I'm in the prime of my life whippersnapper!"

"Uh huh, cause whippersnapper is definitely Gen Z language."

"How did I raise such a hateful daughter?"

"Not hateful, just honest. But seriously, kids aren't even something I'm thinking about. I'm enjoying my free time and disposable income while I have it." I said while moving the coffee table, and grabbing the boxes containing the furniture.

"Maybe I wasn't talking about you. Since you're so determined to be alone, I'm just going to let you be. I'm putting my hope in Caesar to bring me some chocolate babies to spoil."

"Well, I'm all about that Rich Auntie life. As long as I get to give them back at the end of the day." I said as I sat the boxes on the floor.

My Mom threw her head back in laughter. This, this is what I came home for. I don't care what ghosts of relationships pasts haunt me here, I love my Mother. I took in her 5'2" frame, still giggling from our exchange. Her brown skin glowing in happiness, as it did in the day I graduated high school. Her shoulder length hair, that I used to play with as a kid, tied in a bun. Her hands, that nursed me and others through thousands of ailments, on her chest as she tries to control her breathing. I can no longer put her through the pain of putting me on a plane with a chance that I won't come back.