thirty-seven

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Crying. 

That's all he could do. All the others knew that Eli was pretty sensitive, especially pretty recently, but when he pulled himself up, wrapped his arms around his knees, and started sobbing and shaking on the floor, they all watched in shock. 

No one could really be sure of what really just happened. 

Wu Chang had come storming down the stairs, and he looked very upset. He never cursed, so when that all came from his mouth, none of them were really sure if they could believe it. 

Eli felt his chest crushing inward. Everything felt like it was breaking down on him, once again. He honestly... wasn't really sure why. It was just a random fight that he witnessed, so why should it matter? Was it even real? He could never be stable enough to really tell. 

Gentle hands touched his shoulder, and he couldn't bring himself to really pull away. They crouched down beside him, their hand gently squeezing his shoulder, as he just shook. 

There was no way to tell exactly what just happened. 

"Hey, bud... are you alright?"

The voice was muffled, and Eli couldn't tell exactly who they were. He just shook his head gently, still rocking back and forth on the floor. No...

There are too many people in this room. 

He felt his eyes clench shut tightly. Everything hurt. He had to get out of there. No.

No.

It was horrifying.

coward coward coward coward coWARD COWARD COWARD COWARD COWARD-

"Fuck life..."

Eli shot up, his knees locking and joint popping in an unusual manner. It didn't matter. His legs flew to get his body quickly out the front door. It didn't matter if he ran into Wu Chang, he just had to get out of there. 

His legs moved as fast as light. Nothing mattered anymore, as he entered the dreaded woods they had always been warned about. 

One of the earlier times he had tried to run, Joker came after him and locked him in his room, but that wouldn't be possible this time. He wouldn't allow it. 

Eli felt the cold wind fly through his hair, as he slowed down to a very slow walk. Everything still felt so rapid. 

His heart was going crazy, and there was no explanation. 

Anxiety.

-:-:- f-FUck yOURRrseLf--

"Where is he?! He's just gone! Why did Eli run out like that?!"

Naib felt the sweat bead down his temple, as he looked in every direction he could. It was pitch black outside at this point, and they only had one flashlight. 

Tracy had on night vision goggles, but she was crying to hard, and was having to hold onto Naib's arm to see where she was going, so it wasn't like she could help. Aesop felt his heart dropping. 

"I know he's gone, Aesop! That's why we're looking!"

The Ripper groaned loudly, looking at the only other hunter that had come with them. 

"You guys are telling me that someone else besides Wu Chang is gone out in these woods?!"

Michiko giggled lightly, rubbing her aching forehead. 

"Is that why you three came with us?!"

Tracy's cries were interrupting the air. She felt empty. 

Honestly... they all did. 

"Does it matter?! Two people are missing, and we need to find them-"

Everything in them was racing too. 

So numb it burns. 

-:-:- nononononO SHUT UP-

"You know... maybe it would be better to die than actually have to stay here any longer."

"Death is a sweet release, kid. Trust me... it might just be worth it."

The brunette chuckled lightly, leaning his head back against the wall he was slightly propped up on. The ground was wonderfully cold. 

"I don't want this anymore. I really don't. I think it's about time to just get everything over with. They can get a new survivor, it's not that hard."

"I would tell you to hold onto your life and your hope, but lately, I feel just as bad. You're right though... being gone would be nice. But.. it's selfish."

"Selfish?"

The younger male felt himself recoil a bit. His head hurt far too much to really think. 

"Yeah. It's selfish to do that to other people."

"No... Well, maybe it is. Do you want honesty? I don't care if I'm known as the most selfish person in the world anymore. I've never cared at all. i can't do it. I'm so tired of trying. I can't do this shit anymore. i don't want to try. I want it over."

Wu Chang couldn't help but just... shiver. He didn't know how to feel about the words coming from the seer's mouth. 

"I hate when people ask 'how could you live with yourself when you did that to someone?!'. The answer is simple. I wouldn't be alive in the first place to feel the guilt. The regret. I wouldn't be alive to care about what they felt because it doesn't matter...

...life is a fucking lie anyways."

-:-:-

hahahahah 

-Mags




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