Roommates

Chapter 41

"So did everyone just sleep on the bed?" There was uncertainty in Hannah's voice as she let go of me.

"It seemed like it. Everyone was dressed. I was too knocked out to remember how I got there in the first place," I answered. "Kelsey called it a sleepover. I don't know what girls actually do in sleepovers since my parents never allowed my sister and me to."

"Really?" Hannah's eyes widened in surprise.

"Yeah, because they don't understand the concept I guess," I answered. "To them it was like why would you sleep at someone else's house when you have your own house and own bed that they provided for you."

"But that's not the point," Hannah replied in confusion.

"I know," I said. "I never really wanted to go to one. I just followed Luna because she wanted to. The funny thing is that I think Jae Sun has been to one before."

"Is it because he's a boy?"

"Yeah, most likely," I said. "He was allowed to drive wherever he wanted. When Luna and I drove we could drive to school and back home."

"That's awful," Hannah said with a frown.

I nodded. "Ugh, I don't know how to talk to my parents anymore. I've been avoiding their calls, well mostly my mother. I've been avoiding everyone."

"It'll be okay," Hannah said gently. "Don't rush it. Just take some time to really think about what you want to say."

"Every time I think about it, I feel like my chest tightens and I can't breathe," I answered.

"Then don't think about it. Just pretend it was a bad nightmare you dreamt of," Hannah said. "When you're ready to talk to them then you will. Don't stress yourself out."

"How did you decide to tell your parents?" Maybe Hannah can give me some guidance.

"When I think back about it, I kind of wished I didn't tell them at that time," Hannah said after some thought. "I just believed that since I was going to New York for college, it would be my safety net if things go wrong. I just wanted the freedom to let them know that this is a part of me."

"Did you expect their reactions to be like what you thought it was?"

"I don't think I could of imagine any of it. I thought it would be easier to tell my mom than my dad and look how wrong I was," Hannah answered. She took a deep breath. "I knew my mom was not going to like it. Every time we saw someone who was gay on T.V. or at the store, she would just shake her head and say that we have to pray for them and their families."

"And you wanted to tell her first?" I could already feel the panic in my chest.

Hannah nodded. "It was stupid. I just had the urge to. She was excited that I was going off to college and she kept telling me to be careful with college boys in a joking manner. I told her that she would never have to worry about that because I like women."

"She freaked out," I said. I remember that part of the story.

"Big time. To her, it was like I committed a murder. I knew I wanted to tell my parents before I left, but that moment was just spontaneous. I stayed at my friend's house after that day."

I took a hold of Hannah's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I should have waited until after I left," Hannah stated. "It would have been easier. I'm just glad I saved a good chunk of money before I left."

"You are so brave. I don't think I could have ever done that." I couldn't imagine packing up and going to a new city without the support of my parents. Most of the money I made from my first book, I gave it all to my parents to take care of. The move to New York took many years to plan because I didn't have the courage to go to an unfamiliar place.