Arcadia 11

Fifteen

Three weeks had passed since his morning talk with Jaebeom, he had begun to tell Jackson about it but only got to the part where he told Jaebeom before Jackson was taken away by the younger members. Since then Mark had retreated into himself. Growing almost silent, never spending too much time with his group, keeping everything in. He'd been cleared to dance and do light exercise, his sessions with a psychiatrist coming to an end, allowing him to practice what he'd missed and ignore his problems. He'd told his parents he was busy and would get in touch after their comeback, hoping to spare them as well. Hiding out in his studio pretending to work on new songs or rework a few parts for others, only showing up for group practices or going to dance when the studio was empty. Not that anyone noticed.

Jackson had been called to China for an emergency regarding his latest single. His attention pulled away when ever he tried calling the elder. Jinyoung had gone back to the drama showing up for dance practice immediately after filming. His schedule only allowing a few hours of sleep, that he took almost greedily. Youngjae was always working with the vocal coaches or dancing. He'd been improving mentally, talking to the managers soon after Jaebeom confronted him. Yugyeom and BamBam spent as much time as they could perfecting the dances and getting ready for variety shows. BamBam being allowed to go home for a few days to see his mother. Yugyeom was given the same few days to spend with his family, opting to sleep at their house before returning to the dorm well rested and happier. All while Jaebeom tried to spend more time with each of the younger members, not intentionally forgetting Mark's confession in his haste to keep his team together. In fact everyone seemed to forget about Mark and his problems, each person falling back into their own issues.

Mark hadn't regressed, shoving his Little space so far down that he didn't know if he could slip anymore. His anxiety keeping his stomach so knotted he couldn't eat, his headaches and empty stomach keeping him from sleeping, and his guilt from not eating keeping him from going back to the dorm. He didn't want anyone to blame themselves when it was clearly something he needed to deal with.

He hadn't realized how bad he was until they were called in for a read through of their tour locations, set lists, props, wardrobes, promotion schedule, and workouts. He had luckily gone home before heading back to JYP Entertainment, taking a shower. After throwing on one of his own XL shirts he was shocked to find the usually baggy shirt swallowed his thin frame, his sweats having to be tied just to fit his waist. His face was haggard and pale, the bags under his eyes made him look like he'd lost a boxing match, his sunken cheeks taking the last of the baby fat he had possessed a month ago. Looking away with disgust Mark went through his drawers searching for the concealer and foundation that usually matched his skin.

Once that was done he went back to his room looking for a black shirt that had been too small a few weeks ago and throwing that on along with his smaller sweats, the ones he'd had forever but couldn't get rid of. Pulling a mask and baseball cap on he looked in the mirror satisfied with his outfit. His thin forearms the only thing seen while his hands were shoved in his pockets, concealing how shaky he was.

When he arrived at the company building he rushed to the correct conference room taking the stairs two at a time to reach the third floor and sat down away from the others, his heart beating irregular from the brisk pace he'd just used. Sitting in his seat he tried keeping the attention off himself while he got his breathing back to normal. But again, no one even acknowledged him.

The managers were going through their packets of paperwork and discussing the problems they could see coming, his members so deep into their individual conversations they hadn't even noticed the door had opened. Jackson was being conferenced in over the phone, he was taking care of a few other things while waiting so he didn't even know Mark was there. Park Jinyoung (their boss) walked in, a smile on his face as everyone stood to greet him. His eyes falling to the eldest and his smile faltered a bit.