And The Thorns In Our Hearts

Arc: 1

'Okay, everyone, car's coming in 20 minutes, do whatever you need to do.' BTS had just finished an absolutely draining 4-hour concert, and as per usual, their manager Sejin had planned them a celebratory dinner at a nearby restaurant. It was much needed, all of the members were incredibly burnt out from the amount of work, practice and performing they had been doing.

Jungkook sighed in contentment. 'I get to watch my dramas again, IU-noona is just so pretty,' he said. 'Oh, what are you watching, Ggukkie, I wanna watch too!' Taehyung clapped his valentine's hands together eagerly. Namjoon found that the younger members seemed to have infinite energy, being able to actually do things in their spare time. The older members, especially Yoongi, usually just slept. They got like 2 hours a night (something that was probably the cause of the constant headaches they have coupled with the maknaes being too loud) and any sleep they could get was immensely welcome.

'Joon-ah, come here.' The leader turned around to see Yoongi with his hand outstretched. He walked over and sat down in the chair next to his hyung's. 'What's up, hyung? Everything okay?' Yoongi's eyes drifted shut. 'Yeah, it's just comfy and quiet here and the maknae's are fucking loud so sleep here.' Namjoon smiled. He knew that Yoongi was a huge softie at heart and it really showed at times like this. He lay down in a more relaxed position, earning a soft hum of approval from Yoongi.

When he closed his eyes, Namjoon realised how truly tired he felt. As his eyes fluttered shut, the wave of fatigue washed over him and he fell into a flat, dreamless sleep.

--

Namjoon woke up to an itch in his throat. It wasn't like one of the 'I need to clear my throat' itches, or 'I need to drink some water because I'm dehydrated' itches, it felt like something was in his throat. He looked around. Everyone else seemed to be packing their things up and Namjoon deduces that the car's coming soon.

The itch in his throat got worse, it was more of a strangling feeling than an itch and he was having trouble breathing now. Clawing at his throat, he rushed to the bathroom. The other members didn't notice as Namjoon choked, having felt the obstruction blocking his windpipe rising.

When he got to the bathroom, he retched, hard, grasping at the sink and his throat finally unblocked itself. A petal. A single pink rose petal was in the sink, the white porcelain clear of anything apart from this one petal. And then it hit him.

I just choked out a petal.

The realization hit him hard, but before he even registered what the petal looked like, too dizzy from the retching, he knew who it was that he loved. He knew even before he saw the colour or shape of the petals that it was Jin, and he realises that his crush had finally grown too strong, intoxicating, like the too-sweet smell the rose petal leave behind.

Namjoon picked up the petal and rinsed it off. He looked closely, taking in its shape and roseate pink hue before shoving into his pocket. His throat was burning now and he felt a scratchy feeling that stretched all the way down his airways.

'Why can't it be lavender that he likes?' Namjoon shook his head, letting out a cold laugh. 'Goddamned thorns,' he said. He rubbed the petal in his pocket. It felt velvety, soft, and the smell still stuck around. It smelled much stronger than any actual rose petal. He read somewhere that Hanahaki would do that, make you smell like the flower you were choking out. Namjoon never thought it'd be him to get Hanahaki though, never thought he would succumb to the 'disease of the unloved'.

He even hid his crush well, never overstepping boundaries. As far as the members knew, he was straight as a pole. He chuckled again. Unbelievable, he thought. Truly unbelievable.

'Hyung-ah, are you ready now? Change of plans, Seokjin-hyung is driving and I think Yoongi's about to fall asleep again, you better come quick!' Jimin's voice rang. Namjoon rubbed his eyes and walked out of the bathroom, hearing Yoongi muttering something about how the younger members had no respect for him nowadays. Jimin was outside of the bathroom waiting with his stuff and they walked together to the exit.

'Hyung, you smell like roses. Why do you smell like roses?' The younger boy questioned.

'Switched a deodorant, Jiminie, that's all.' Namjoon replied, voice void of any emotion. Jimin seemed to take this as an answer and nodded. They walked out silently, and Namjoon ignored the feeling in his throat again. It wasn't the scratching, it was the lump in his throat. The one he got when he was sad.

It was at this exact moment when he realised that this was what the 7 years of heartbreak he had endured led up to.

It was stupid of him to think there would be anything other than more heartbreak.