Johnny Depp Imagines

Mortdecai #1

Before I say any more, can I just say how pretty my jewellery box is? It was a small lilac coloured box, with a little silver handle, a little golden lock that'd open the box. It was imprinted with little silver butterflies.
My mother gave it to me when I was eleven, along with a beautiful necklace. The necklace was made of gold and had a little pink butterfly charm. It was my lucky charm.

Anyway, as I clicked open the jewellery box, I opened the little secret compartment (that's where I kept my lucky charm). Then, I screamed, dropping the box, the jewellery spilling out and over the floor.

My necklace wasn't there. I sank to my knees and looked thoroughly through the jewellery. It wasn't there either.

Then I heard two pairs of footsteps hurrying quickly along the hall, stopping outside my door.

"Y/N, what's the matter?" Asked my husband, hurrying in, Jock entering behind him. "I heard a most frightful scream."

"My neck- neck - necklace... it's it's it's..."

"It's what?" Asked my husband, sitting next to me on the bed. "Jocky, leave us be for a few minutes."

"Right you are sir." Said Jock, turning away and shutting the door behind him.

Just as he left, I burst into floods of tears and put my head in my hands.
"Shhh...shhh.ssshhh." Charlie shushed me, rubbing my back.
"What's the wrong pookie?"

"M-m-m-my f-f-favourite n-n-n-necklace has g-g-gone." I sobbed, into his chest.

"That one with the pink butterfly charm on it?" He asked curiously, but quite nervously.

"Hh-how do you know w-w-what necklace I said had gone? All I said was my favourite one had gone, I have loads of favourites."

"Guesses?" He replied nervously.

"Wait. What have you done with it?" I asked sharply, looking up at my husband.

He went quite pale at this question.

"Um...well... I sold it." He said nervously.

"You did what?" I shouted, jumping up, now seeing red.

"I auctioned it." He said again, clearer this time, bounding up off my bed.

"Why? That was given to me by my mother for my eleventh birthday."

"Well if it's that old, then you don't need it." He said, backing away.

That was the most damn ass cheeky response I'd ever heard.

That was it. I picked up the thick red hardback book that I was reading and aimed it at the middle of his chest.

"No pookie, don't." He worriedly covered his head with his arms.

I threw my book at him anyway. "That was more important to me than anything. Just because it's old, doesn't mean it's not important to me. Everything has worth, it's not all about money!" I shouted, throwing something at my husband with every word: vases, books, everything.

Objects flew across the room.

"Jocky?! Jocky?! Help!" He squealed like a five-year-old girl, as my black Dior handbag was aimed at his head.

"Sorry sir, this one's all yours." Said Jock poking his head around the door, before quickly closing it as an old cardboard box was thrown.

When I'd thrown every object I could lay my hands on, I walked towards my husband slowly and then grabbed him by his tie.

"Oh, that's your way of expressing your love for me is it?" He asked, pouting and trying to kiss me.

I yanked his tie further, so he was bending over, both of us at eye level.
"No, this is my way of expressing my anger," I growled. "Charlie Mortdecai, you are in some serious hot water."

I let go of him and he snapped back up to standing straight.
"Thank you for letting go of me, darling. Now guess how much I got for your necklace?"

Seriously? Did he not just hear the whole previous conversation we were having when I was yelling?!

I gave him a soft slap on his face (I was cross, but I didn't want to hurt him if you know what I mean). Though I still attempted a couple of punches.
"No-no-no. Now calm down. JOCKY!!!" He screamed.

Jock came in just in time to see my husband standing there in a daze before he sank to his knees and fainted.

"Do you want me to do anything?" Asked Jock, my husband Charlie lying at his feet.

"No," I said nonchalantly as though nothing had happened. "Just leave him there. Now I'm off to have my bath." I said, grabbing my bathrobe, stepping over the unconscious figure of my husband.

*****I hope you found this story funny and entertaining. If you have any requests just let me know. I'm always happy to do them.*********************