Bleak Hill

CH XXIV "You lose some, you win some"

I was never a big drinker. I liked controlling the image I promoted. It's different now. My head was pounding due to the wine we drunk with Lily and I was feeling nauseous. I looked a bit at my reflection in the dusty mirror hanging on the bathroom wall. I had undereye bags and my makeup was smooshed.
"Oh, well." I mumbled. That's my reality now.


"Maybe we should go ask Mr. Willis about those... those creatures formed from thought?" Tom swallowed loudly. He was still struggling with the idea. But what the hell, so was I.

"Trust me Tom, I have not let one little thing slip. There is nothing in that library. And I don't think it's quite as normal to ask Mr. Willis about that. It will raise suspitions."

"Raise suspitions about what Lily! There's no way someone will think anything of it except that Tom is weird." I said.

"Well hold up, it could raise the suspition of the right people." Daniel lazily played with a silver lighter. "You just weren't there, you don't understand."He retorted.

Way to make me feel excluded. My pounding head did not help his words. These were my problems too. "Well, maybe I wasn't, but I'm trying to understand and help you out, alright?"

Daniel's eyes widened and he put his arm on my bare shoulder.
"I know. I didn't mean anything by it, you know that, right?"

Lily stood up and poured some wine in her glass.
"Lily, haven't you had enough?" I asked amazed at how she can still drink.

"Well, I sorta sobered up after our talk and everything." She smiled.

"So you girls been drinking without us, huh?" Tom smirked.

"We definetely do not need your company to drink."

"So you're all friendly now then?" Asked Daniel.

We looked at each other with Lily. Were we? Friends? I don't know. I didn't think so. We just barely started opening up to each other. Lily's cheeks got red but she spoke.
"We're getting there." Then she added "Maybe."

"Yes. Maybe." I smiled at her.

"So... where's Rafael?"

"I don't know Lily. Probably working or something." said Daniel.

"Oh, right."

Lily took another sip of wine. I noticed that Daniel's eyes lingered on her. Could I see them together? I never thought of Lily as particularly beautiful. Nor brave. She was book smart. And sweet. I liked her hair. They were fiery and always unruly in their curls. It added her some charm I think. But Daniel usually went for the obvious sort of beauty. I don't think he ever had real feelings for anybody. But his choices were obvious. All his girls were always easy on the eyes. 

"So guys," I said after silence had taken over a couple of moments, "What's going on in your personal lives, huh?"

"If you think I've had time to think about girls you're really far off, Bethany." Daniel smirked, finally taking his eyes off Lily.

"I understand, but like, not at all? Not even a little?"

I glanced at Lily who was pale,like her blood grained from her face.

"Nah, I'm trying to pick up my pieces for now."

"Well, how about you Tom?"

"Why, I always have time to think of girls." He winked and I laughed.

"Anyone in particular?"

"Nah, more like anyone in a bikini."

"Oy, Tom!"

"Chill, Lily. Stop being so goody two-shoes. By the way, what's going on with Raf?"

Lily got red once again and started punching Tom with her fists- "You... little... shit... I'm gonna... destroy you!"

Tom was laughing very hard and started tickling Lily, "You have no power little Lily! Surrender or be gone!"

"I would..." Lily tried speaking in between laughing "NEVER!"

Daniel stood up with a cigarette and went out on the porch, closing the door behind him. That was my cue. I stepped outside with him. The night was quiet, only the muffled laughters and insults from inside were heard. Daniel lit a cigarette and looked at me.

"Would you like one?"

"You know I don't smoke."

"I know. It's good you don't." He turned his head to the side. Daniel was sort of beautiful. His hair were unruly as well, but in a different way than Lily's. It sweeted his tough face. His face was all edges. Noble edges, but still it made him look harsh, unless he smiled. That changed everything.

"Is everything alright?"

"I don't know."

I guess that was all I was getting from him. For once I decided not to be annoying, "Okay. It's hard. Not knowing what to do."

"Yeah, a bit." He rested his face in between his hands and he then proceeded with, "I'm glad you know about everything. You should know  you really helped."

"Helped?"

"Yeah..." The next words left his mouth with some struggle, "You helped.. me."

I have to admit I was touched. My first intention stepping out on this porch was to connect the dots with the Rafael, Lily, Daniel trio. I did not expect this. How the world changed ever since life deprived me of my love. I gained something in return. It is not all smooshed makeup and question marks and pain. I gained Lily, the girl who used to nod when I spoke of manicure and shoes. And I gained Daniel. Daniel who possibly despised me before. Daniel who used to go out of his way to avoid me.  Daniel who meant nothing to me. Now he was being vulnerable with me. Now he was the closest person I had.