Love and War ✴ Shadowhunters

Chapter 27

"Jay, stop." She placed a hand on his shoulder and was shocked when he shook her off. "Jay! Talk to me, what happened when you went to find Valentine?"

Jace threw one more hit to the punching bag and spun to face her with what she could only describe as a wild expression on his face. She'd never seen him like this before, and that worried her greatly.

"We didn't have to find Valentine. He was already with us!" He exclaimed at her.

Her brows furrowed. "Wait, take a breath and start from the beginning. I don't understand."

He knew that Celeste was trying to get him to calm his anger, but he held on to it tightly. Anger was the only emotion he'd let himself feel right now. If he let his anger go, he'd be forced to feel the guilt and sadness he was trying to distract himself from knowing where this conversation was leading.

"We didn't have to find Valentine because he was already with us. He was pretending to be Michael Wayland with a powerful glamor. He was there the whole time and I didn't even know it!"

"Jay, none of us knew it. This isn't on you." She tried to placate him.

"Do you want to know the worst part? He'd been Michael Wayland this whole time. I was raised by Valentine. And to top it off, I'm not even a Wayland. I'm a Morganstern." He spat at her.

Celeste's eyes widened as she processed everything she was hearing. "What? But that would mean--"

"That Valentine is my father? That Jocelyn abandoned me? That Clary's my sister?" He cut her off. "Exactly."

"Oh Jay..." She breathed and tried to step closer and reach out to him. "I'm so-"

"Sorry?" He finished, stepping out of her reach. "Of course you are. Because you always want to fix things. You always want to help people. You are an angel in every sense of the word. And I-" He stopped for a second, his voice cracking as some of the emotion he was holding back slipped through. "I'm Valentine's son."

Celeste paused for a moment, letting her hand drop back to her side. "Where are you going with this?" She asked softly, preparing for the worst. Judging by the fading dark red color and the appearance of dark blue it wouldn't be anything good.

"My father is a monster. What does that say about me?"

"Nothing. It says nothing about you. He's Clary's father too and that says nothing about her."

Celeste's calm tone seemed to anger him even more, and she watched the red overtake the blue again.

"She didn't spend ten years of her life with him!" He yelled at her. He sighed, forcing himself to calm down just a little bit when he saw Celeste take a step back. "He raised me to be just like him." He finished.

She shook her head frantically, recognizing the look in his eye. He had made some sort of decision, and he was shutting down the conversation. She wasn't so sure she wanted to know what this decision was, so she had to get through to him quickly.

"That's not true. You're nothing like that monster."

"But I am." He said sternly, not letting her finish the speech she was preparing. "When Clary and I rescued Jocelyn, I let Valentine go. And part of me wanted to go with him." He admitted.

"But you didn't. You're here at the Institute with your real family. It is your actions that determine who you are."

It was like he'd hardly heard a word she said as he shook his head. "There's darkness in me, Celeste. It's always been there. And I can't let my darkness put out your light."