"Kai, are you with my brother now?" tukso ni Lourd. Monique nudged her pero pareho naman nilang inantay ang sagot niya. I was waiting for an answer too kahit alam ko naman ang sagot.
Eleanor and I are not together. She's just helping me with things.
And when I mentioned that Eleanor was Lourd's girl version, I think it was true.
"Hindi pa," She said, emphasizing 'pa' then she chuckled. Hindi na ako umimik. Natawa na din naman si Lourd at Monique. Napatingin ako kay Mon and she's still beautiful. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwalang kay Lourd siya napunta.
If I chose not to be the coward back then, would it make a difference?
Napailing ako sa sarili kong tanong. Eleanor wouldn't be here if that happened.
Ang pinagpipilian pa din ni Monique ay yung gown niya. She's torn between two designs made by her friend at hindi naman nakakatulong si Lourd. He kept on saying things like, "Whatever you wear on that day, you're still beautiful."
Napapaismid na lang ako bago mapatingin kay Eleanor. She was eyeing the magazines and lookbooks and there's this expression in her face I can't explain.
Hinawakan ko yung kamay niya, "You okay?"
"Of course, but can we go outside? Magpapahangin lang ako." Matipid siyang ngumiti. Tumayo na siya at sumunod naman ako. "Excuse us," Paalam ko kay Lourd at Monique bago sumunod kay Eleanor na nakalabas na ng living room. Dumiretso siya sa backyard namin kung nasaan ang pool.
"What's wrong?" I asked her. Don't tell my issues din sa buhay si Eleanor. First off, medyo mahirap paniwalaan at ayokong isipin na nasaktan na siya noon. Whoever did that, he must be a complete idiot.
Nilingon niya ako before smiling, "Ikaw nga dapat ang tanungin ko eh. Okay ka lang?"
Bigla akong natahimik. Masyadong madami ang nangyari and it's like I'm just living in the moment. But if I have to think thoroughly and be honest with myself, I know I'm not okay.
I am tired.
Ang matagal ko na naming gusto sa buhay ay magsettle down with a wife and have my own family. But it seems like the universe is telling me I can't be that kind of guy. Para kanino nga ba yung ginagawa kong pagpapatakbo ng isang malaking company if I don't have someone with me?
And now my sister just had her first daughter with her new family and my twin brother is getting married with a girl I loved. Ano bang mali sa mga ginagawa ko?
Pero kahit ito naman talaga ang nasa isip ko, I chose to say it otherwise.
"I'm okay." I said non-chalantly.
"Sabi mo eh." Eleanor smirked and I knew she didn't buy my excuse. Sana maniwala na lang siya na okay ako because I don't need any sympathy.
STAI LEGGENDO
No Strings Attached
Narrativa generale[For my beloved Chance Lucas Sandoval] Chance Lucas Sandoval meets Eleanor Kai Gonzales in the most unlikely place, and you can guess that the most unlikely thing happens. He agrees to date other women, as Eleanor has stated, to help him move on wit...
