Drunk Texting | T. Drake ✔

[08]

T: she's a friend, like a very close friend since we basically spent our childhood together.

I: oh, that's sweet.

T: why were you asking though?

I: no particular reason.

T: oh I get it.

T: you're getting jealous at last, aren't you?

I: pffft, nonsense.

T: she was my first kiss too, y'know.

I: I did not ask for that piece of information.

T: who was your first kiss though?

I: I had a boyfriend in high school.

I: we didn't work out despite everything. It all ended up in far too much hate for both of us to ever reach out again. So that chapter has remained closed.

T: it didn't work out between me and Steph either because since we had lived together for so long, we were like practically siblings to one another.

T: and that bond is really special so neither of us wanted to fuck that up.

I: at least you were honest about that.

I: Lysander and I were a cliche heartbreak tragedy. We fell in love too fast and fell out of it even faster.

***

[ I <•> J ]

I: Hood, I need your help.

J: if by that you mean murdering someone or hiding a body, then you don't even have to ask. I'm totally in.

I: a friend of mine got kidnapped. Again.

J: who? I'm guessing it's a Wayne boy, right? They get kidnapped twice every month.

I: yeah, it's Tim.

I: and I want you to help me in retrieving him.

J: ah, so that means I'll get to kick asses, definitely.

J: meet me at Crime Alley in five minutes.

J: I have a plan.

***

I: okay, but that was totally awesome.

J: I told you, love, flamethrowers build up the aesthetic.

I: and thanks for helping.

J: no problemo.

J: how's the kid doing?

I: I don't know, he was still unconscious when I dropped him off at the Manor.

J: I've saved his ass multiple times before and I can guarantee you he'll be fine. A little shocked when he wakes up but will come around in no time.

I: aren't the Waynes now accustomed to getting kidnapped?

J: oh yes they are. And as far as I know, they give the kidnappers a hell of a time now.

J: you won't believe it but their frequency of getting abducted has actually lessened. In the past, they were up to like four abductions in a single week.

J: now it's twice every month.

I: if this continues maybe the criminals would get fed up and stop abducting them altogether.

J: that's the main incentive. But when it comes to the criminals of Gotham, one can never be certain.

I: says Red Hood, the crime lord.

J: exactly. Says Red Hood, the king of Gotham underworld.

J: I happen to know my subordinates inside out, that's why.

***

[ T <•> I ]

T: fuck... I can't believe this.

I: Timmy?

I: how are you feeling now, princess?

T: sore.

I: you'll get better in no time. Just don't forget to take your aspirin.

T: and what if I say that you're my aspirin?

I: awwww...

I: but you can't miss your medication, okay? Take that goddamn aspirin.

***

T: and you guys turned up loaded with guns and flamethrowers so of course I was quite surprised.

I: look, you got abducted again and I got slightly paranoid.

I: and the only person I could reach out to was Red Hood. Though the guns and flamethrower part was a bit surprising for me too. But he said he did that way too often.

I: do it for the aesthetic, that's what he told me.

T: regardless though, thanks a lot.

I: you're welcome, sweetheart.

***

I: Red Robin has not been turning up at all.

T: I thought you were angry at him and didn't want him to show up?

I: yeah but he was not supposed to know that.

I: until or unless a little birdie decided to snitch.

T: maybe he figured it out himself.

I: since how long have you been talking to Red Robin, you stealthy little shit?

T: I have not been talking to him at all.

I: I know you too well now to think otherwise, birdboy.

T: I'm a little freaked out by that but okay...

***

T: reminds me by the little birdie trying to snitch... How did Irina Luthor find out that I sneaked into her lab?

I: how am I supposed to know?

T: exactly...

I: if you're accusing me of snitching up on you, I swear I'll throw you down the roof myself.

T: you were accusing me too so I guess we are both even.

***