Mirrored Snow [novel]

Chapter Thirty One

I needed to move. Needed to get away from the monster in the mirror who no longer knew any of the history she'd revealed to me a few minutes before. Needed to get away from the mother I'd always longed for without realising she was the source of all my pain.

I needed to see Snowdon. Even if I couldn't reverse what she had done, even if he was gone somewhere I couldn't follow, I needed to see him in this new, terrifying world of colour and sound.

My senses were overloaded by an outpour of information. Noises, smells and textures all ran together. It was too much, all too soon. The marble floor beneath my fingers was too smooth, the squeak my fingers made as they ran across it hurt my ears. The vials and potions the queen had thrown to the floor mingled in a strong perfume that made me gag. It wasn't that it was unpleasant – after a lifetime of nothing, none of it was unpleasant – there was just too much. It was overwhelming, but I never wanted it to end.

I got to my feet and walked on unsteady legs towards the door. Come on, Sarai, I thought, using the name my father had given to me. You've walked before. Maybe it wasn't on real flooring, or across any real distance, but the general action is the same.

"Wait!" The queen called out from behind me. "Where are you going?"

I contemplated ignoring her; letting her see how it felt to be ignored, but instead looked back over my shoulder, promising myself that I would only do it the once. "I'm getting as far away from you as I can, and I'm going wherever I want to, because I'm free, and there's nothing you can do about it."

I slammed the door behind me without waiting for her to respond. On the ground outside, the guards were out cold, snoring lightly as they slumbered.

As I walked down the palace stairwells and through crowded, subdued corridors, I beamed at everyone I passed, relishing the thrill that ran through me as they acknowledged my presence, even if they didn't know who I was, and reminded myself that it was probably better that way.

They didn't know yet that their queen was gone. As far as they would be able to tell, she had simply vanished. I wondered how the news would be broken, whether they would fear her return for some time to come. The kingdom's leadership would be in doubt, with no clear heir to take the throne. Perhaps Marianne's father would step in. Maybe they would hold an election, like some kingdoms in the south had started to do.

The only thing I avoided on my way through the palace was the mirrors. I recoiled from every surface, expecting to find the queen looking out at me, lost and afraid, even though I knew she was still trapped in her room. I had spent too long as a reflection to dwell on my own, even if it was new to me. The sensation of watching my form betray my friends was still too fresh for me to catch sight of my own face without shuddering.

I reached the courtyard sooner than I expected.

It was empty, save for the coffin.

I'd expected to find more people here, either out of curiosity, or to pay their respects, but I was alone. Perhaps the queen had forbidden anyone to enter the space. Well, if that was the case, I needn't fear punishment from her.

I wasn't really sure what I planned to do once I reached the coffin, I just knew I had to see him with my own eyes. I knelt beside him and reached my hands towards the glass, but I couldn't bring myself to touch its cold surface. I'd been trapped behind glass for too long to find comfort in it now. The thought of Snowdon being stuck behind it until the people of his kingdom were confident the queen wasn't about to return made me feel ill. I returned to my feet and lifted the coffin off of his body, expecting any second to be challenged. Arrested. Thrown into a cell beside friends who wouldn't know me. But no one came. No one questioned. If anyone saw me, they must have been too shocked to stop me.